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Jackpot City Casino 50 free chances on MEGA DIAMOND (no deposit bonus)

Jackpot City Casino 50 free chances on MEGA DIAMOND (no deposit bonus)

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Just log in to your account like you do on desktop when you want to play on mobile. There’s no need to download an app. Real money mobile gambling is protected using the same SSL data encryption technology that makes the main online casino safe and secure.
The game selection is still large on mobile, and several of the big progressive jackpots that help the casino live up to its name are available to play on Android and iOS. Most slots, table games and some mobile video poker games are also included. These can all be found in the lobby when visiting the site from your mobile or tablet.
The graphics effortlessly adapt to your mobile screen regardless of make or model. We tried playing on iPhone 7s, Samsung Galaxy s10 and Huawei p30 without any issues. The navigation menu on the bottom of the screen is great for easy access to games, chat functions and live support.Compatible devices

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Jackpot City is known to update its bonuses regularly, so make sure you check out the casino site for the most up-to-date information. If you’re an avid player you can take advantage of the midweekly and weekend match bonuses that Jackpot City give out. These promotions are based on how much and how often you gamble, so they’re custom made to suit each player.
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How to join the VIP program

As soon as you join Jackpot City you’re rewarded with 2,500 loyalty points and added as a bronze-level member of the VIP program. You earn one loyalty point for every €/£/$1 you bet on the site and this is how you increase your points. Just remember that only cash wagers contribute towards the loyalty points- bonus credits don’t.
You can use the points to claim bonuses, free spins, free credits and wagering cash as you play. You’re also free to use your loyalty points in Jackpot City’s sister casinos Spin Palace, Ruby Fortune and Mummy’s Gold Casino.

What benefits do you get?

As a member of the VIP program you’ll get access to exclusive bonuses, free spins, a personal VIP host who’s available 24/7, free spins, and many other benefits. You can see all the details in the table below, including how many points you need to reach each level.
The default bonuses could be higher for the first levels of the program, but Jackpot City’s VIP program is great as it gives all players a chance to enter, and you get other excellent bonuses and daily specials.
To be able to stay as a VIP, and to reach the higher levels, you have to continue betting on the site. You also have to keep the minimum loyalty points required to stay within your points bracket, and if you don’t have enough points by the end of the month, you’ll go down a level.

Best Games at Jackpot City

Jackpot City casino has over 630 casino games, including more than 430 slots to choose from. The casino even offers regional and country-specific games such as Australian pokies and UK style pub fruit machines.
You can enjoy over 70 different table games, and Jackpot City has an exceptional selection of 34 blackjack games with many varieties such as multiplayer or European blackjack. Of course there’s baccarat, poker, roulette, and many more for you to play. They’re all listed in the table below, and you’ll also find the most played games at Jackpot City.
Your latest games and your most played are automatically saved in the casino lobby, so you’re able to play in an instant. With such a wide range of games it’s easy for both new and seasoned players to find a game to suit their level and preference.
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The live dealer games at Jackpot City casino are powered by multiple award-winning Evolution Gaming. You can easily interact with the friendly live dealers via HD video streaming, or you can chat with other players around the table using the live chat function. The sound quality is crisp and without any unnecessary background noise, and the 3D animations are well-defined and clear. Evolution Gaming’s live dealers are true professionals who make sure there’s a nice atmosphere around the table while the game is in play.
When playing live roulette and baccarat you can enjoy an immersive and dynamic feeling with the use of multiple cameras, one for the live dealer and three, or more, just around the wheel/table. If you like to multitask you can play multiple live games at the same time by clicking the +tables button.
The live casino is fully optimised for mobile play and the live mobile games are supported by all iPhone and iPad devices, as well as most Android phones and tablets.

Software Providers

Microgaming, one of the world’s most awarded software providers, powers the casino games at Jackpot City. They are well known for creating the latest developments in online casino technology and won the EGR Awards 2019 for their ‘constant innovation with very high-quality software’. The company is held in high regard for safety, being well respected for continuously building new safety measures to keep the casinos and players safe.
You can download the user-friendly software for full access to all of the games. Downloading and setting up your account should take just a few minutes. The downloadable version also offers plenty of options for customizing speed, audio, and more.
An alternative is to play in no-download mode, which has fewer games but offers flexibility in that you can use any browser to play.
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Safety & Fair Play

Jackpot City is licensed by the Malta Gaming Authority, EU regulated and eCOGRA certified. These credentials confirm that the casino is safe and secure, takes care of its players and complies with laws and regulations. Your gaming is protected using the same SSL data encryption technology that makes the main online casino safe and secure. This means that no third party can access any information you’ve shared with the casino.
The eCOGRA certification proves that the casino offers players fair gaming opportunities. Jackpot City always ensures a fair chance of winning through the use of a random number generator. The most recent eCOGRA report noted that the payouts on all casino games averaged 96%.

Deposit & Withdrawal Options

Banking at Jackpot City Casino is safe, secure, and super-fast. Most withdrawals at Jackpot City casino are processed within 24-48 hours, which is outstanding and makes the casino one of the fastest amongst its competitors. The minimum deposit and withdrawal are $10, and there’s no maximum withdrawal limit.
From testing the casino, speaking with our players and looking at the previously mentioned eCOGRA report, it’s clear that the casino has improved from a few years ago, when it received some negative feedback regarding payout times. The casino is paying out on time, and you now have more withdrawal options than ever to choose from.

Customer Support at Jackpot City Casino

Jackpot City’s average response time for emails is 48 hours, which is good for any issues that are not time-sensitive. You can talk to the customer service reps in several languages, all listed below, 24/7.
If you call you will first have to go through the standard steps of getting to the right department, which can take a few minutes. When we spoke to the reps they were all very friendly, and they managed to solve our issues right away. That’s definitely a plus in our book. The live chat is quick and hassle-free. You only have to confirm your account and then they can help you out with your issues.

Conclusion

If you love playing slot games you should definitely check out Jackpot City. There are over 430 excellent titles to choose from and a very generous welcome bonus to get you started playing. With licenses and credentials from MGA and eCogra you know this is a safe and secure casino to play at.
You also have more than 100 other casino games to play, including live dealer games from Evolution Gaming. And of course, the best progressive jackpots – it’s called Jackpot City for a reason.
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Jackpot City Casino 330 free spins on Rabbit in the Hat (Exclusive)

Jackpot City Casino 330 free spins on Rabbit in the Hat (Exclusive)

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Exclusive Partnership With Microgaming

Jackpot City Casino has been around for 20 years but has not embraced the strategy of collaborating with multiple casino game providers and expanding its portfolio of games. The online casino has partnered with Microgaming, one of the oldest casino gaming providers in the market.
Microgaming is known for developing some of the best slot games in the market. Jackpot City Casino offers a great suite of Microgaming slot games which are categorized into 'All-Time Favorites', 'New Games', 'Video Slots' and 'Jackpots'.
There are no surprises when it comes to Microgaming's All-Time Favorites section. Players will find games such as 3 Card Poker, 1000 Islands, Aces and Faces, Agent Jane Blonde, and 108 Heroes.
Microgaming continues to release new online slots and some of the latest games featured at Jackpot City Casino include Karaoke Party, Electric Diva, Jungle Jim - El Dorado, Truck Stop HD and Frozen Diamonds.
Video Slots include Wacky Panda, Cricket Star, Totem Treasure, Gopher Gold and Jingle Bells. Microgaming online slot games have great gameplay, excellent graphics and are pretty easy to play.
Players who are looking for traditional casino games will not be disappointed as they have the option of playing roulette and blackjack. Those who want a little more excitement can always switch over to the Live Casino.
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Jackpot Games At Jackpot City Casino

As the name suggests, Jackpot City Casino does have a number of exciting jackpots to be won. Players will find a special section on the homepage called 'Jackpots' which allows them to see the current list of jackpot games available. These jackpot games are broken down into jackpots and progressive jackpots. You will be able to easily find out which are the progressive jackpot games as the word 'progressive' will be attached to the online slot.
Some of the popular jackpot games include Fruit Fiesta - 5 Reel, King Cashalot, Lotsaloot - 5 Reel, Mega Moolah - Isis and Tunzamunni. The jackpot value is not displayed below the online slot game and players can reach out to customer support to confirm the exact value of the jackpot at the time they decide to play.
There are more progressive jackpot games than regular jackpots at Jackpot City Casino. The popular progressive jackpot games include Mega Moolah, Jackpot Deuces, Major Millions - 5 Reel, Treasure Nile, Wow Pot, Cash Splash - 5 Reel and Cyberstud.
These online casino games can be played on your desktop or mobile phones as the software is compatible with both Android and iOS platforms. If you are skeptical about winning at Jackpot City Casino, go to the 'Winners' tab that is displayed on the homepage and you will see a long list of winners along with what games they played, what date they won and the amount of money they won. You can get a confidence booster from looking at the winners list and the make a decision to see if you can also win big.

Slot Bonuses At Jackpot City Casino

There are no specific slot bonuses on offer as of now at Jackpot City Casino. However, there is a great welcome bonus that players can take advantage of and play online slot games. We advise you to please read the wagering requirements attached to the welcome bonus package before proceeding.

Exciting Promotions At Jackpot City Casino

Over the last 20 years, Jackpot City Casino has come up with a number of exciting promotions. These keep changing from time to time, so players are always advised to check Jackpot City Casino and find out what are the latest promotions on offer. The current list of promotions apart from the welcome bonus package includes:

Match Promotions

These are special promotions offered by Jackpot City Casino to its players mid-week and during the weekend. These bonuses are percentage based on the player's previous weeks activity. Players will be automatically notified via their account when they become eligible for these match promotions.

Prize Packed Promotions

This promotion package is filled with exciting prizes that range from 5 star cruise holidays, casino credits, cash prizes and free spins. These bonuses are awarded to players on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. To find out more information, click on the Prize Packed Promotions link and see how you can be a part of this exciting promotion.
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Having been in the online casino business for 20 years, Jackpot City Casino has a loyalty rewards program in place to recognize its loyal customers. Players are awarded points for the money they spend and the games they play. These loyalty reward points can then be redeemed for cash. To find out more about this loyalty program, click on the Loyalty Rewards section and you will be provided with more information.

VIP Rewards Program For Top Players

Jackpot City Casino has a special VIP program in place to recognize top players who spend a lot of time and money at the online casino. They receive VIP treatment and their reward points are a lot more valuable than the loyalty rewards program. Some of the perks of being a part of the VIP Rewards program is that they get exclusive bonuses, free spins and individual assistance from VIP hosts on a 24/7 basis.

Multiple Withdrawal Options At Jackpot City Casino

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TLJ Rewrite, Secret of the Whills Part 2

With Rey and Luke, we see Rey go through training; tossing a heavy branch into the air and letting it fall so she can slice it apart with her lightsaber, running a training course through the trees and ponds, learning to swim, and sparring with other young Jedi, but it beaten by one, simply stunned as the lightsabers are on a lower setting when sparring. Katooni and Huyang are impressed, but Luke remains cryptic. Huyang speaks with Luke about his fear, the droid tells Luke that fear is natural and something every Jedi must overcome, often more than once. Rey walks off and finds herself in front of the Great Tree and wanders in, finding ancient Sacred Texts that detail the history of the Jedi as well as a Piece of the Life Force Conduit. She also finds artwork of three Mysterious Figures that intrigue her, feeling something eerily familiar about the dark one. Luke catches her but is not angry. She asks Luke about her findings and he tells her that that the relic is simply an ancient artifact from the first Jedi-Sith war and that she will discover who the painted figures are very soon. Rey says the dark one feels familiar and Luke says "He should. You've met him." Luke goes off to be on his own in the cliff-root overlooking the sea and is joined by Yoda's Force Ghost, who tells Luke that he cannot protect Rey from the truth for much longer, and Luke sadly admits he's right and remarks he now understands how Yoda and Obi-Wan felt and why they tried to hide the truth from him. Anakin's ghost appears and admits he's failed to reason with Jacen,and that Rey must be prepared to face him soon. Luke swears to do all he can to face the coming confrontation.
Snoke's ship arrives over Felucia and after having Caedus sense her, they land on the planet. They are attacked by the Jungle Felucian Warriors, but the natives are no match for Caedus, the Praetorian Guards or the Dark Troopers. Shaak Ti, riding a Bull Rancor, attacks. Caedus takes on the fierce beast and manages to kill it before confronting Shaak Ti, remembering her from before Snoke. Snoke is attacked by some warriors, but he easily kills them all, seemingly sucking their life force out. Shaak Ti tells Caedus he can turn away from the Dark Side, she once thought Anakin was beyond redemption, but his betrayal of the Emperor showed that everyone is capable of love and compassion, which infuriates Caedus. They fight, observed by Snoke and the Praetorian Guards. Maris comes out of hiding and tries to help, but Caedus manages to fight them both off. Shaak Ti tries to reason with Caedus, saying 'No matter what Anakin did, his intentions were for love, his family, fo those he loved. What do you fight for, boy?'. Caedus cuts down a bizarre alien tree, pinning Maris under the branches while fighting Shaak Ti up a huge alien tree. She shouts for Maris to run as she destroys Caedus' mask, only for him to stab her in the chest. She scolds him as she dies, 'Foolish boy...you may not be a Sith yet, but Snoke will betray you just as Palpatine betrayed his pawns...' She then lets herself fall into a dark pit, becoming one with the Force. Maris tries to get away but is captured by the Praetorian Guards and is tortured by Snoke and Caedus until she gives up the location of the first part of the Conduit and is then taken prisoner. Snoke and Caedus seize it and head for Mustafar.
At the Hosnian Prime, Leia, Holdo, Fet'lya, Statura and the Jedi settle the alliance with Viscount Vane and the other representatives of other worlds. Leia hopes this will encourage other neutral worlds to stand up to the New Order and join the Republic in the war effort and she and her cohorts see their new allies off. Starstone and K'Kruhk discover C.J. and Amber have joined Black Squadron in the outskirts of the city, in one of the canyons, to help deal with a fire that broke out and are proud of their Padawan's initiative. Above the worlds, Ackbar watches their new allies take leave, just as about 20 New Order ships, including the Finalizer, emerge from Hyperspace, spewing out dozens of ships, landing craft, Tie Fighters, Blitz Fighters and many other such craft. Shocked, but on guard, Ackbar orders all ships to move into defensive positions and send out attack craft, but they cannot prevent numerous landing craft and attack ships from getting through, so Ackbar quickly warns those on the ground. C.J., Amber and Black Squadron return to the city in time as heavy lasers begin bombarding the planet surface and ships carpet bomb the city and the area around it. 3PO declares that the shields can hold, but the readings from Admiral Ackbar suggest they could be outnumbered. Leia and Fet'lya take charge, ordering the city control center to announce all citizens to seek shelter and to TRANSFORM the city. Fet'yla orders Holdo to return to her ship to help Ackbar fight the battle in space, but Leia points out that it's too dangerous to travel with all the ships in the sky. Fet'lya agrees and orders all ships to remain grounded until he gives the word. As the New Order ships approach, with the Sith Knight's Personal Starfighters leading the attack, with shuttles and craft carying walkers close behind. One is blasted and the ramp opens, with Phasma leading Jet Troopers and Dark Troopers out into the air via JET PACKS as the ship goes down, but Phasma bravely leads the charge, with ships and flying troops covering the sky. Leia watches the oncoming swarm of enemies as the transformation is complete and the city is now a massive armored fortress with tons of guns firing on the invaders. Fet'lya goes to a console and activates the 'Dazzler Gas Cloud', vents pour out intense streams of burning gas into the air, harmless but shining brightly, overwhelming the vision of the New Order attack craft and causing some to crash in the air or forced to head lower or get out of the way. The Republic Forces take advantage of this, with troops using rockets to damage the ships while others shoot down New Order flying troops or get blasted in return. Leia, 3PO and Holdo take refuge inside as the Jedi help fight off the invaders and Black Squadron take out attackers trying to get inside the city. Leia orders 3PO to go to Connix and send out a distress signal to their allies before the New Order can cut off their communications. Outside, some of the Sith Knights; Kylo Ren, Talon, Ca'dlek, Ochil, Valorum and Trudge all let their droids pilot their ships and drop out into the city, cutting down soldiers and trying to break into the city as heavy armor plating seals off most of the entrances. Kylo Ren and Trudge attack the Jedi, who bravely duel the attackers, with C.J. and Amber being held back by their seniors who duel the Sith pretenders, with K'Kruhk using the Force to lift a pillar to pin Trudge and some troopers down. Talon joins the attack and tries to seduce C.J. before Starstone interrupts and fights the Twi'lek with her Padawan, and Talon proves herself to be a fierce fighter. Statura takes command of the turrets, which open fire on the invaders, blasting some of them down. One ship lands but as the Stormtroopers attack, they are blown away as their ship explodes, but those who survive engage with the Republic soldiers. Holdo gets on her shuttle with D'Arcy and takes off after saying goodbye to Leia. Their ship manages to get through the gas cloud and into the atmosphere. Phasma, after taking out snipers, demands the Sith Knights to get rid of the gas. Kylo Ren agrees and orders the Knights to withdraw from the Jedi, and after escaping they use the Force together to disperse the gas from the sky Black Squadron are mortified by the clearing of the gas, as now the enemy ships have clear shots and can avoid the turrets and they are attacked by the Dark Troopers, but are rescued by the Jedi. Starstone tells the pilots to get to their ships and get into the sky. More ships land with more New Order troops pouring out and attacking. Phasma, Ca'dlek and Ochil attack with more Dark Troopers, the Jedi fight and Phasma is blown away by Nien Nunb with a grenade launcher, but her special armor protects her as Black Squadron gets away, while C.J. and Amber escort the civilians to safety, and along the way they use damaged Speeders to smash into Siege Troopers and Dark Troopers and cut down Exterminator Droids. We see Valorum have the chance to get inside the city and kill civilians, but he lets them go. Meanwhile 3PO and Leia, nearing the city command tower, are informed by Connix that they're being jammed, they can communicate with their ships surrounding the planet but can't communicate with the other planets or beyond, they're essentially cut off unless one of their ships can get beyond the jamming field. They enter the command room where General Idrosian Gawat has held command thus far and welcomes them. They oversee the battle, bidding Black Squadron good luck as they and a plethora of other ships take off and engage the enemy ships or go up into the atmosphere. Below, the city comes under fire by AT-M6s and Crawler Walkers, with armies of Siege Troopers, Stormtroopers, Dark Troopers, Exterminator Droids and Yinchorri Warriors attack, met by Borsk Fet'lya leading legions of Republic Troops with their own vehicles such as tanks, heavy speeders and even newly designed versions of Droidekas. Up above, Holdo's shuttle is attacked and pursued by a Blitz Fighter, which lands some hits on the small craft, but with help from Republic fighters the shuttle lands on Holdo's new capital ship while Ackbar communicates with Hux who commands the assault on board the Finalizer. Ackbar scolds Hux for a brave but foolhardy attack that will only result in a violent stalemate. Hux admits that is a likely outcome, but offers Ackbar the chance to stand down, promising he will treat them fairly, unlike the Imperials of old. Ackbar tells Hux to go to hell and he will not let the Empire rise under a different name and opens fire on the Finalizer, which Hux furiously returns, devastating several Republic ships.
Poe and his team emerge from Hyperspace over Cantonica, a picturesque world of luxury, with floating cruise ships that float off of waterfalls, sports tournaments, casinos, resorts, etc... Getting permission from the strict traffic control, Poe follows Holdo's coordinates and lands the ship in a very small, grungy docking bay on outskirts of Canto Bight, where they are greeted by Den Joln, a streetwise human who has a sketchy air about him but also a sense of experience and that he has been to more worlds than most and has a very bleak view of life. He greets them, telling them Holdo told him of their mission and he will show them the way. He leads them through the underground tunnels, where they chat, Poe asking if he's seen New Order forces on the world and Den confirms that people Holdo has identified as New Order have been spotted recently. Rose is not surprised, seeing as how many of the rich and elite of the galaxy would have much to gain from New Order, though Finn questions what they could have to gain, with Den Joln answering they'd have better tax laws in their favor, cheaper labor, more opportunities for weapons builders, which Poe confirms, but he doubts all the people here would support the New Order, as not everyone is so easily motivated by greed. Den smirks and asks 'You sure about that?'. Finn is intrigued by this as they emerge from the tunnels into the city and Den leads them to a building where Solana, a female Thisspassian and kindly clothes dealer, who gives clothes to the poor of the planet and helps the less fortunate get into the resorts for a short time. Den has her give the group clothes to make them look rich and recognizes the necklace Rose wears from a particular world. Rose admits to Finn she's homesick and wants to be with her family again and Finn sympathizes with her, hoping that his own family is still alive somewhere out there. They get dressed and Den Joln leads them into the city.
On board The Knife, Caedus sees to Maris being secured in a gravity-chamber like Obi-Wan was in Episode 2. She calls him a fool for beliving in Snoke and curses him for betraying the Jedi. Caedus says he doesn't care what she thinks and doesn't even know why they're keeping her alive, other than a small spot of darkness within her. Maris tries to warn him, trying to remind him they were once friends and that for all he has done, she doesn't want to see him die as a pawn for Snoke, but he ignores her. He then goes and speaks with Snoke about what the overlord did to the warriors in the jungle and how the act is a dangerous one that must be done carefully, and that the artifacts they're after can help them pull off the act of absorbing life force energy at a much more significant rate. 'The living force is nourishment, the more one consumes the stronger one becomes. To cheat death, to have eternal life, we must take life. Do you wish to know how to harvest the life force of others?' and Caedus wants to be taught how. Snoke asks him if he truly 'Wants to obtain the power of those who came before you and destroy your grandfather's legacy by resurrecting the Sith by taking your place among those who came before you? Perhaps even taking your place in the Force? Or even the Mortis Gods?' Caedus confirms that he does. Snoke proclaims that with the power they can achieve with the artifact, they can rule the galaxy without armies or fleets or weapons, and asks if Caedus wants that and he confirms that he does again, though hesitantly. Snoke smirks and notes that Caedus fears the possibility of death, that he fears the frailty of human life and bodies, but promises him that with their power, they will transcend the ages and Caedus may one day eclipse Vader as the most powerful force wielder the galaxy has ever known. Caedus remarks he will be the strongest of the Sith, but Snoke says 'You call yourself a Sith? You are a pretender. The Sith were fearless, unrepentant, remorseless. You are very scared. You are haunted by the past...your family and your actions.' Caedus snaps, saying he regrets nothing, but Snoke can tell that deep down, he does have regrets and that until he severs himself from the past, he will be doomed to the same fate as Vader, to abandon true greatness and power, eternal glory for a thing as foolish as love. Caedus says he will do everything to make sure that never comes to be, he will destroy the past, kill it if he has to. Snoke grins.
Rey and Luke sense this, with Luke knowing that Caedus is about to go down a darker and more dangerous path than before. He doesn't know the details but Rey, having heard fragments of the conversation, tells Luke about harvesting life force, which Luke is horrified by. Rey asks Luke why she can sense this better than he can and Luke admits she had a strong bond with Jacen before he turned to the dark side, when two force wielders are related they can feel each other stronger than most especially when they have a strong bond, he had one with Leia but he severed it to conceal himself, but they have reconnected. Rey asks to know more about her past relationship with Jacen Solo when they are interrupted by R2-D2. Luke says that some pirates are attacking the neighboring islands. Rey looks out and sees a fire in the distance, Rey demands they go help, but Luke thinks that it is too risky, as the pirates could get away and reveal their location to the New Order. Disobeying him, she runs off and pilots a boat with another young Jedi. Rey sails across the rough seas and lands, running to the flames only to be surprised by a party of the Lanai Sisters with bonfires. She is confused as Luke, Katooni, R2, Gungi, Huyang and other Jedi arrive. Rey becomes furious over the trick, but Luke explains that it was a test that she failed, she rushed into things without thinking, as such hastiness cost him his hand and Anakin everything, she must stop and think first. Rey sighs and demands to know the truth about what happens, which Luke agrees to, but first they must have fun, while they can. The father and daughter join in the celebration and Rey lightens up. Obi-Wan and Anakin's ghosts watches, with Anakin saying 'Do you think they'll be all right?', to which Obi-Wan says 'Only time will tell, my friend. The future is what they make of it.'
Back on Hosnian Prime, the battle rages, with the New Order troops trying to blast their way into the city, but they cannot make a break, with the Jet Troopers being shot down. Phasma is nearly blasted, but ducks and lets an underling take the blast. Kylo Ren, Valorum and Ochil try to cut their way into the city, only to be met with Droidekas, forcing them away and the entrance is sealed off with ray shields. Phasma demands that they blow their way into the city, as she ducks away from some snipers before killing them. The Yinchorri warriors cut down some Republic troopers and try to force their way into the doorway, only to be blasted away by the turrets from above, while others climb up and destroy the turret, they nearly get in, only to be cut off by the doors closing and some of the aliens in half. Phasma meets up with some Demotroopers, who plant explosives on certain spots for the AT-M6s to hit, causing a massive blast to blow their way in. C.J. and Amber are on the other side, helping to move the wounded, forced to leave the dead behind. C.J. calls for help, so before they can finish setting them up, Borsk Fet'lya leads his elite troops and engage in a intense firefight, forcing Phasma to fight off most of them before flying away and ordering the AT-M6 to fire. Fet'lya and his remaining soldiers retreat, just in time as the AT-M6's fire and they are knocked off their feet by the shock-wave of the explosion. A hole is blown open, so Phasma leads the Siege Troopers and Stormtroopers into the city, but are counted but C.J. and Amber leading soldiers while Leia has power rerouted to seal off that area. The young Jedi fiercly fight back with help from Petro, Ganodi and Zatt, cutting off legs and arms, blocking lasers and forcing Phasma away as the blown open section of the city are sealed off. Ataska leads an intense carpet bombing while also destroying the turrets, but several of her wing-men are blown away by Republic tanks, while others are engaged in intense dogfights, but Ataska's Starfighter wins several dogfights and zips around the city, but a tank with a damaged turrets has a chance to take it out, so K'Kruhk uses the Force to direct the guns and shoot Ataska down, forcing Ataska to bail out. Meanwhile, Leia contacts Holdo, Ackbar and Black Squadron on an encrypted frequency, telling the pilots to get past the communications blackout zone and call to their allies for help. Holdo is busy, but sends some drop ships to distract the New Order. The ships get through the Finalizer defenses, though two of them are destroyed. Those that get in the hangar attack, pouring in and use rockets and thermal detonators to destroy shuttle craft and starfighters, but they are quicklyoverwhelmed and wiped out. Somehow, Hux seems to realize what they're up to and sends multiple Blitz Fighters and Tie Fighters after them. Snap, Kare and Nien Nunb, joined by other pilots, battle the New Order's ship, while Jess and Tallie get outside of jamming range, with Tallie protecting Jess. Jess sends out a signal, while Tallie is attacked by Blitz Fighters, her ship is destroyed, killing her. Jess' ship is hit and she retreats, but her mission is completed. She races through, with ships still on her tail, but she manages to take them out with help from Snap and Kare. Her wings are torn off by G-Forces, but she and her astromech R2-KT, are saved by Snap and Kare, who use cables to harpoon her X-Wing and guide her to a soft landing in a hangar, where she is greeted by 3PO. Leia and Gawat notice Phasma and some of the Sith Knights are moving near the menagerie and Leia improvises a plan and orders them to let them into the menagerie and turn off the lights. Phasma and the Sith Knights notice the doors opening, and while Phasma, Talon and Ca'dlek think it's an obvious trap, but Kylo Ren and Trudge refuse to let such an opportunity slip by, so they lead dozens of troopers into the dark menagerie, going into multiple biomes where they are attacked by a variety of animals, resulting in many troops being devoured or killed or trampled. The Sith Knights and Phasma retreat as a Kryat Dragon bursts out, leading to many animals, including the Vulptex, flooding out into the city. Olee Starstone encounters the same Fleft-Wauf and calms it down before mounting it and riding it into battle, flying and cutting off the wings and guns of ships. Leia watches the chaos intensify and hopes it won't last much longer, Jess and 3PO arrive, the former confirming her message got out, its just a question of who can get here first. They watch as some of the city's defensive guns are blown away by well placed air strikes or fire from the AT-M6's, buildings are blown open as the battle rages on.
Meanwhile on Cantonica, Den Joln bribes an Abednedo valet to let them into the top resort in town, where he claims the hub is under. Inside is a true luxury resort with casinos, bars, dancers, singers, spas, gambling, games and races. Finn is impressed by all around him, but Rose has a rather pessimistic view that Den Joln appreciates. Poe notices Jabba's son Rotta the Hutt mingling with a Falleen from the Black Sun Crime Syndicate and a Neimoidian from the New Trade Federation, which confuses Poe since according to Republic spies these guys are supposed to be bitter rivals. Finn surmises that something big must be going on in order for such enemies to all be here at oncs and not trying to kill each other. Finn plays a random game of dice and wind a handsome amount of credits. As they travel through the resort and see various strange sights such as an operatic Harch, Poe recognizes some smugglers Lando has been associated with and quietly tells Finn and Rose about Lando using smugglers to get more weapons and ammo for the Republic, which Den scoffs at. Poe asks Den if he has a problem with the Republic, and the man says he doesn't really care one way or the other for either the Republic or the New Order. He claims there really isn't much of a difference, only minor and superficial differences of philosophy, he claims that he doesn't think anything will ever truly change, which Poe and Finn take issue with, claiming that the Republic are trying to stop the iron grip of a tyrannical regime from ruling the galaxy and letting the free people live in peace, which Den scoffs at as foolish optimism. To make a point he shows the three the races, where rich and poor alike bet on Pod Racers as they race around the city, coast line and forest and the Fathiers, large horse-like creatures that race around tracks. Den points out that people on both sides come to bet on the races, so he feels it means morality or allegiances doesn't really matter compared to one's own will and freedom, which Finn finds a distasteful view. Rose remarks about how her friend used to raise the Fathiers and remembers how Paige used to love riding them. Finn brings up how Rose and her sister escaped a world conquered by the New Order and helped to fight them, they wouldn't need to do that if the New Order and Republic were the same thing, but Den points out that the Republic also let the New Order grow and become a threat, not doing anything until it was too late, because they were too selfish and greedy. The winner of the race is congratulated by Purvile, the strange, eccentric Mikkian owner of the resort who practically rules over the city with his money. Purvile goes down and meets up with General Pryde, telling him the meeting will begin soon.
It's twilight on Hosnian Prime, the main wall around the city has been destroyed and Crawler Walkers and the two remaining AT-M6s enter the city, rising up on their hind-legs and crushing the walls. A bridge where rocket gunners and Droidekas fire at them are blasted away as the walkers stomp into the city. Phasma is attacked by an Acklay but manages to kill it before looking up at the command tower and orders the ships to attack. Leia and some of those in the tower manage to escape via the elevator before the top is obliterated. A Sando Aqua Monster attacks one of the AT-M6s and manages to destroy it, though it is killed via a deadly laser blowing through its torso, they fall, crushing those beneath them. As the battle rages, a Rancor and the Kryat Dragon begin to battle for dominance, with the little Vulptex doing its best to avoid being killed. The remaining AT-M6 blasts open an entrance, so Phasma and Kylo Ren lead a charge into the interior of the fortress. Olee Starstone, riding the Fleft-Wauf with K'Kruhk, fly down and attack, cutting down the troops. K'Kruhk jumps off and confronts Kylo Ren, revealing they were once master and apprentice. Kylo Ren savagely attacks and a duel begins, with Amber watching her master fight the Fallen Jedi. When K'Kruhk gains the upper hand, Ochil and Trudge join in the fight so Amber jumps into the fray, helping her master fight them off while Olee Starstone and C.J. duel Talon and Valorum. Up in space, Maz Kanata's ship comes out of hyperspace and Ackbar sends them down to help with the battle in the city. K'Kruhk and Amber are nearly defeated but K'Kruhk attacks fiercely, cutting off Ochil's hand and cutting off Trudge's head, only to be impaled by behind by Kylo Ren, but before he falls he slams him blade into the dark sider, sending him flying down an embankment. Valorum orders Talon and Ochil to retreat, looking back at Amber as she comforts her dying master, Starstone looks at Valorum and sees regret in his eyes. K'Kruhk bids his goodbye to his Padawan and his friends as he becomes one with the Force. Dark Troopers surround the three Jedi, only for Maz's ship to appear, blasting them away. The pirates help the Republic fight as the Rancor and Kryat Dragon kill each other. Starstone leads the Padawans to safety, but Amber stops to get the Vulptex, which was hiding under a ruined tank. They meet up with Fet'lya, who leads them to safety before he rejoins his troops to attack yet again, but he cannot catch the Sith Knights in time as they retreat.
Meanwhile Den brings the group down where young stable workers are looking after the Fathiers, they agree to show them a secret way through the resort to the underground chambers in exchange for riches, and Finn uses the money he won to pay them. Den leads them through the tunnels and Maintenance tubes. As they crawl through, Den explains that the most servants on Cantonica are payed criminally low rate due to Purvile's greed so they are easy to bribe. Finn hopes that Purvile is in league with the New Order so they can bring him to justice. The tubes eventually lead them to view an extravagant conference room where Purvile and several members of the Canto Bight elite are meeting with; Rotta the Hutt representing the remaining Hutt Clans, the Black Sun, the New Trade Federation, the new Queen of Zygerrian Slave Traders, Sugi Weapons Dealer, King Parana Blanc of Quarzite, a Yinchorri Warlord, a Trandoshan Warlord, representatives of the Jabiim Independents, a Dug Crime Lord, Eriadu Governors, a Jabolgian Crime Boss, a Weequay Aristocrat, aliens from Byss, and representatives of the Flesh Mongers, Fondor Imperialists and Brentall IV. Pryde arrives, thanking them all for coming. Despite Den's insistence they move before they're noticed, Finn and Poe demand to stay and see what the meeting is about and have BB-8 record it. Pryde reveals this is to finalize and sign a treaty welcoming them all to the New Order, with the Zygerrians bringing slaves to the New Order and Canto Bight, Purvile reveals that they've all been donating or even embezzling funds to the New Order to help them finance their war machines and a top secret weapon, which they are all interested in seeing. Pryde reveals he's been permitted to show them. He tells them that the weapon was designed by Bevel Lemelisk, chief designer of the second Death Star, who presented it to Palpatine after the destruction of the original Death Star. This weapon is a step beyond the Death Star and can destroy multiple planets with multiple deadly beams and activates a massive hologram of STARKILLER BASE, which shocks his allies and horrifies our heroes. He reveals it was once the holy Jedi world Ilum, but now it will be the ultimate weapon to destroy them once and for all. As the New Order allies eagerly sign the treaty, the group continues with the mission, with Poe grilling Finn if he had any knowledge of the Starkiller and he denies with, nothing but rumors of some super weapon, but nothing specific. Poe believes his friend and apologizes for doubting him before they carry on.
submitted by ChrisTheLovableJerk to StarWarsRewrites [link] [comments]

I made a list of every crime committed in The Office and it only took seven months

Below I’ve listed every law that was broken in The Office (from destruction of property and battery to homicide and kidnapping) whether legal action was taken or not, as well as ideas that people had that were illegal; I’m not a legal expert, I just have a lot of much free time (I labeled the episodes the same way that Netflix does.)
S1E3: Dwight claims that multiple people in the office forged medical forms for their health insurance plans
S1E6: Michael claims that Dunder Mifflin employees in the 80’s constantly used cocaine
S2E1: Pam, Kelly, and Phyllis reveal that there is something written on the women’s bathroom wall, later Pam reveals to Jim that she was the one who wrote it; people throw food at Michael (would fall under battery)
S2E2: Packer reveals that he’s been convicted of a DUI
S2E3: Dwight reveals that sometimes teenagers use his farm for sex (depending on their ages, this may be illegal as the Pennsylvania age of consent is sixteen)
S2E6: Dwight punches Michael in the stomach twice with considerable force (Michael does bait him into doing it though)
S2E8: Jim punctures a hole in Dwight’s “fitness orb” with a pair of scissors; it is implied that a former accountant killed himself; Dwight reveals that he made a copy of Michael’s key to the office
S2E10: Meredith flashes Michael in his office
S2E11: Michael tells everyone on the cruise that the ship is sinking when there’s no danger (creating a false panic is illegal in most cases)
S2E12: Dwight crashes his car into a telephone pole outside of the office and leaves his bumper in the street
S2E14: Michael says that Packer once held a man’s head into a toilet; it is also implied that Packer was the one who defecated in Michael’s office
S2E15: Michael causes lots of damage in the warehouse by improperly using the lift (he also doesn’t have a license to operate it)
S2E16: Michael jaywalks (technically illegal though typically not enforced); Michael comments that someone was pooping in a cardboard box in the subway
S2E17: Dwight tackles Ryan, Creed, and Stanley to the ground
S2E19: Michael finds out that he’s involved in a pyramid scheme
S2E20: Dwight finds a joint in the parking lot (Pennsylvania didn’t make steps to decriminalize marijuana until 2014); Michael believes he unknowingly smoked marijuana at a concert; Dwight gives Michael some of his urine so that he can pass a drug test
S2E21: Creed faces sideways after his company photo is taken, implying that he’s been arrested in the past
S2E22: Creed steals casino chips and also admits to stealing things all of the time; Dwight kisses Angela and she hits him in response (though it seems like both parties were okay with the outcome)
S3E1: Roy reveals that he was arrested for drunk driving
S3E4: Creed reveals that the reason Ed Truck got decapitated was because he was driving drunk (though this was never confirmed and Creed tends to lie); the bird funeral is lit on fire (probably illegal as they did not have a permit and it was mainly paper and not wood)
S3E5: Ryan and Dwight egg the front of Axelrod Ltd’s building
S3E6: Jim rides his bike drunk (believe it or not, this is actually illegal)
S3E7: Creed sells office equipment
S3E8: Andy steals a computer from the Stamford office; after poking holes in everyone’s tires, Michael claims it was Vance Refrigeration workers that did it
S3E9: It is revealed that Martin went to jail for insider trading; Kevin admits that insider trading sounds a lot like what he does as well
S3E10: Creed removes a present from the charity box (removing uncollected items from charity drives is theft); Pam reveals that she has been sending fake letters from the CIA to Dwight, Jim later gets involved (illegal to pass yourself off as a CIA agent)
S3E13: Andy punches a hole through the wall
S3E16: Michael reveals that his eighth grade teacher hooked up with at least thirteen students; Dwight reveals that he hunted a werewolf as a child, but it’s more likely that he killed his neighbor’s dog; Dwight traps a bat in a bag over Meredith’s head
S3E17: Creed reveals that he has a side business where he makes fake IDs for teens; Creed also reveals that he stole a laminating machine from the sheriff’s station; Dwight accidentally damages David’s roof while inspecting the chimney; Roy and his brother destroy multiple objects in a bar including a mirror, a chair, and multiple glasses (Roy’s brother later reveals that he paid off the bar owner to not call the cops on them)
S3E18: Roy attempts to assault Jim in the office after finding out he kissed Pam; Dwight uses pepper spray on Roy when he attempts to assault Jim (this was done defense of Jim however); Jim reveals that Dwight has weapons such as nunchucks and throwing stars hidden in the office; Dwight uses pepper spray against Andy; Dwight is found to have more weapons hidden in his desk such as brass knuckles, a police baton, and a taser
S3E19: Darryl reveals that Michael once kicked a ladder out from under him and caused him to break his ankle; Michael accidentally smashes a watermelon on the roof of someone’s car; Michael tries to convince the office that he’s going to commit suicide
S3E20: A former Dunder Mifflin employee from the paper mill put a watermark of two cartoon animals having sex on about five-hundred boxes-worth of paper; Creed frames Debbie Brown from the paper mill for not catching the watermark on the paper, which results in her termination; it was revealed that Andy was unknowingly dating a high schooler (only illegal if they had sexual contact); Andy reveals that he and his high school girlfriend knocked over a mailbox with her friends
S3E21: Phyllis claims that she was flashed by a man in the parking lot; when Jim calls the police to report the flasher, he says that the police have already gotten three calls; Creed implies that he has flashed people in the past; Jan offers Michael money in return for him driving to New York and having sex (it is illegal to accept or pay money for sex, even if the other person is not a prostitute); Meredith throws her trash out of her car window onto the street while also driving recklessly; while parking her car, Meredith scrapes another car; Creed reveals that he uses the women’s bathroom for bowel movements and has “paid dearly” for it in the past; Dwight and Andy put up barbed wire on the parking lot fence of the office (using barbed wire is typically illegal if the fence is adjacent to a public street)
S3E22: Michael lights a bonfire on the beach (he likely did not have a fire permit)
S3E23: Jim and Karen sneak into a theater to see the second half of Spamalot (would technically burglary, believe it or not, since they snuck in with the intent of stealing services); Jan claims that the reason she is being fired from Dunder Mifflin is because of her breast implants (though David says it is because of her work ethic)
S4E1: Michael hits Meredith with his car and fractures her pelvis; Dwight attempts to mercy kill Angela’s cat by trapping it in her freezer
S4E2: Michael claims that when he was a child, he had a foreign exchange student living with him that stole all of his blue jeans when he went back to his home country; Kelly tells Ryan that she is pregnant with his child in an attempt to get him to go on a date with her (this could fall under intentional infliction of emotional distress)
S4E3: Michael and Dwight detain the pizza deliveryman in the office conference room; Dwight reveals that the pizza deliveryman steals hemp from his farm; Andy reveals that he stole the ice sculpture he brought to the party; Michael and Dwight steal a tray of sushi and some accessories from a restaurant
S4E4: Dwight admits that the permits on the bed and breakfast side of Schrute Farms are still pending even though he is actively taking customers; Creed reveals that he has a second identity that he transfers his debt to; Michael and Jan are likely trespassing while they are sitting on the stationed train
S4E6: Dwight attempts to create molotov cocktails to throw in the Utica office; Michael drives recklessly on the highway; while stealing the Utica branch’s industrial copier, Michael and Dwight break it; Dwight reveals more weapons that he has in the office, including a pack of knives, a pair of sai, a sword, and a blowdart (having these weapons in the open is not illegal, but concealing them is)
S4E8: Michael purgers himself during Jan’s deposition
S4E9: Jan throws a Dundie at Michael’s TV and breaks it
S4E10: It is revealed that the model from Micahel’s chair catalog died in a car accident (Dwight says that she was stoned at the time and crashed into the side of an airplane hanger)
S4E11: Ryan states that the Dunder Mifflin website was infiltrated by sexual predators (only illegal if they used it to transmit child pornography or arrange meetings with minors with the intent of sexual contact); it is heavily implied that Ryan and his friend Troy are under the influence of cocaine
S4E12: Michael places his face in wet cement outside of the office (would be considered destruction of property)
S4E13: Andy drives a golf cart recklessly and ends up destroying its roof (and potentially the cart as well)
S4E14: Jim sets up Dwight’s cell and work phones to go to his Bluetooth and pretends to be him when clients call (could fall under criminal impersonation); Ryan commits fraud by having people re-record sales and is arrested for it; Dwight, Meredith, and Mose release a raccoon into Holly’s car (only illegal if it does damage to her car)
S5E1: Phyllis blackmails Angela by threatening to reveal Angela and Dwight’s affair unless she lets Phyllis run the Party Planning Committee
S5E3: Kelly reveals that she downloads pirated music onto her work computer, to which Michael responds, “who hasn’t”; Meredith reveals that she’s been sleeping with a supplier in exchange for discounts on supplies and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates (could fall under the scope of prostitution); Michael threatens to kill everyone if they don’t go to the conference room
S5E4: Dwight tries to destroy Jan’s $1,200 stroller
S5E5: The office is robbed after Michael and Holly forget to lock the office’s front door; Creed implies that he made the last person who stole from him disappear, and that he stole the identity Creed Bratton from them
S5E7: Kelly falsifies customer surveys regarding Jim and Dwight
S5E9: Michael attempts to purchase marijuana from two Vance Refrigeration workers, and they trick him into buying a salad in a bag rather than drugs (intent to purchase illegal drugs is illegal, and so is selling counterfeit drugs); Michael and Dwight attempt to frame Toby with drug trafficking and possession of marijuana; when the cops arrive, Creed becomes incredibly worried that he’ll be arrested, implying that he either has drugs in the office, or is a drug dealer
S5E10: Dwight tricks Angela into marrying him (this would be considered fraudulently inducing someone into marriage)
S5E11: Creed is seen smoking out of a pipe likely containing kif, which has cannabis in it; Creed says that he can get fire permits very quickly, implying that they are possibly fake; Michael forces Meredith into going to a rehab facility (technically falls under the definition of kidnapping)
S5E12: Jim uncovers more weapons that Dwight has hidden throughout the office; Andy pins Dwight against a fence with his car, Dwight dents Andy’s car
S5E13: Jim connects a red wire to Dwight’s computer which leads outside to the top of the power pole (would qualify as vandalism to the pole); Michael and Dwight attempt to learn information about a competitor under the guise of a potential customer and potential employee (could be considered corporate espionage, but I couldn’t find any specifics)
S5E14: Dwight induces panic law by simulating a fire in the office, he additionally damages multiple doors and cuts the phone wires; during the fire drill, multiple office employees damage items in the office including ceiling tiles, the copier machine, and the vending machine; Dwight reveals that he is planning a bomb scare; Dwight is shown to have a hunting knife strapped to his ankle, and he uses this knife to cut apart the CPR dummy (though corporate payed for the damages to the dummy); Andy, Jim, and Pam watch a pirated film
S5E15: Dwight buys cookies from Toby in exchange for him signing a form (quid pro quo on this is illegal); Dwight attempts to have his coworkers sign his form under the guise of it being a sign-in sheet; Michael throws full slices of bread on the ground to feed pigeons (it was winter and there were no birds, so this could be considered littering)
S5E16: Jim cuts the cord that connects Michael’s phone to the office’s PA system; Dwight finds out that Kelly went to juvenile detention when she was younger; Creed gives Jim a $3 bill (counterfeit money is illegal)
S5E17: Creed says he knows where to buy a kid for $7,000; it’s revealed that the reason Kelly was in juvenile detention was because she stole her boyfriend’s father’s boat; Michael cuts off a sleeve from Holly’s sweater; Michael also takes a file off of Holly’s computer (would be classified as unauthorized computer access)
S5E18: Phyllis and Bob have sex in a restaurant bathroom (this is technically public sex which is a misdemeanor); Creed steals a bag of blood from the blood drive
S5E19: Dwight slaps Michael; Jim slaps Dwight
S5E20: Dwight pretends to have kidnapped David’s son
S5E21: Michael sneaks back into the office after being asked to leave (technically trespassing as it is private property and he was escorted out of the building)
S5E22: Michael breaks his condominium agreement by having the Michael Scott Paper Company located within his condo (though the owner only sent a warning that he needed to stop); Ryan steals three pairs of bowling shoes before he quits the bowling alley; Michael asks Billy to sell him a ‘secret office space’ off of the books within the Scranton Business Park
S5E23: Dwight claims that a woman named Haddie McGonagle was murdered in the Dunder Mifflin office space in 1816 (though he probably made this up)
S5E24: Dwight steals supplies and files from the Michael Scott Paper Company’s office
S5E26: While fixing her dress, Meredith accidentally reveals one of her breasts, as well as her crotch and her backside (was accidental, but could be considered public indecency)
S5E27: Dwight cuts open the back of Phyllis’ blouse so he can give her a massage; Creed reveals that he doesn’t have any mirrors in his car that let him see behind the car (in Pennsylvania, it is illegal to drive without at least one mirror that lets you see behind the car)
S5E28: Dwight’s friend Rolph once inquired about shoes that increased speed and didn’t leave any tracks, implying that he was going to commit a crime
S6E1: Stanley wrecks Michael’s car with a tire iron
S6E2: Dwight and Toby accidentally crash into a few trash cans outside Darryl’s house; Dwight uncovers that the real cause of Darryl’s injury was from misuse of company equipment
S6E4: Michael ties full beer cans to the back of his car which left debris all over the road; Dwight implies that Mose is going to be castrating horses (only legal if Mose has a veterinary license, which is unlikely); Dwight also claims that he has a device which can make hamburgers out of horse meat without killing the horse (likely animal cruelty)
S6E5: The Niagara Falls hotel staff incinerated Kevin’s shoes (they claim they did it because it was a safety issue); Dwight gifts a turtle to Jim and Pam for their wedding and appears to not have made any holes in the box (likely animal cruelty); Dwight accidentally kicks Isabel in the face while dancing
S6E6: While answering Jim’s phone, Kevin pretends to be Jim and accidentally cancels his credit cards
S6E7: Dwight secretly records the conversations in Jim’s office (Pennsylvania has a two-party consent law which means that all parties in the conversations must consent to being recorded); Andy talks about a 60 Minutes segment that went into working conditions of a paper mill in Peru (the 60 Minutes segment likely went into illegal conditions within the mill)
S6E8: Meredith reveals that she has had sex with a known terrorist; while writing down things that people don’t want to be made fun of for, Creed says that if he writes his down, he cannot be charged for it; a custodian reveals that when Michael fell into the koi pond, he accidentally killed one of the fish
S6E9: Ryan shows Erin a topless photo of Kelly in the office (could be considered indecent exposure since it was in a public space within the office); Creed implies that a shipping order was never supposed to reach it’s location, possibly indicating that he stole a shipment
S6E10: Creed flees the office when Michael tells him that there was a murder and that he was a suspect, implying that he may be involved in a murder
S6E12: Dwight secretly records a phone call between Jim and David
S6E13: As part of Secret Santa, Andy gives Erin the Twelve Days of Christmas, inadvertently resulting in physical injury to her and potentially her home and car; Creed implies that he’s done “evil” things; Michael says that he has often claimed to be David’s childrens’ pediatrician to get him on the phone
S6E16: Andy accidentally gives Meredith a large paper cut on her throat; Ryan implies to Dwight that they should torture Jim
S6E17: While escorting Jim and Pam to the hospital, Dwight puts a police light on the top of his car; Michael uses his phone to text and make a call while driving; when being pulled over, Dwight throws multiple large weapons out his window; Michael parks in an ambulance-only parking spot
S6E18: Dwight breaks a window to enter Jim and Pam’s home; after breaking in, Dwight discovers mold in their home and destroys walls and cabinets with a crew of workers so he can refurbish their kitchen; Jim comments that he had five parking tickets on his windshield
S6E20: Creed tries to act casual when Michael announces that the lost and found has gone missing, implying he may have stolen it; Andy aggressively tries to take a pen from Darryl (could be considered battery); Dwight strangles Kevin in an attempt to get information from him; Michael and Dwight, and then later Andy and Erin, walk around the Scranton dump (would be considered trespassing); Michael and Dwight throw large pieces of garbage at each other; Michael and Dwight take two chairs from the dump
S6E21: Phyllis claims she likes getting men to flirt with her so that Bob will beat them up; Michael accidentally damages multiple objects while being reckless at the bar; Dwight breaks his contract with Angela (unsure as to whether a lawyer was involved with the first contract, but Angela served Dwight with a summons for breaking it, leading me to believe it was legitimate); Hide admits that he killed a Yakuza boss on purpose and then came to America illegally
S6E22: Meredith steals and uses Pam’s breast pump
S6E24: Michael hires Dwight to follow Donna around to see if she’s cheating on him (following someone isn’t illega, but it could be considered stalking or harassment); Creed implies that he’s committed crimes for low levels of reward; Michael says he’s going to kill the guy who’s kissing Donna in her Facebook photo (though he immediately takes it back)
S6E25: Michael keeps throwing out radon kits that Toby put around the office; Michael once again claims that he would kill Toby; Dwight claims that his money is buried underneath someone (though we don’t know if this is a grave or a buried corpse); Dwight and Angela’s lawyer comments that their sex contract is dangerously close to prostitution and illegal
S7E1: Dwight tears the head off of Phyllis’ teddy bear and pulls a knife on Jim; Meredith breaks into Michael’s nephew’s car; Michael spanks his nephew
S7E2: Dwight attempts to open a daycare center that is absolutely not up to safety codes; Toby allows Michael to forge his counseling paperwork
S7E4: Dwight is shown attempting to pick up what would appear to be illegal immigrants for day labour and then instead of paying them, has Mose pretend to be an INS agent, kidnaps the workers, and then drops them off in Harrisburg; Holly claims that multiple people died in a traffic accident (though it’s incredibly likely that she was kidding); Michael takes an incredibly quick turn without his turn signal on
S7E5: Michael, Dwight, and Jim secretly watch Danny’s meeting with Meredith through hidden cameras (only illegal if they are recording the footage)
S7E7: Angela steals all of the scones from Cece’s christening (though they were for public consumption so it probably wouldn’t constitute as theft)
S7E8: The Scranton Strangler leads police on a high speed pursuit; Michael tells Pam that he has a loaded gun hidden in his desk at the office; Michael cuts the cable going to Gabe’s apartment
S7E10: Erin floats the idea of hiring a new employee, killing them, and then cashing in on the life insurance policy; Dwight and Phyllis float the idea of bombing China; Pam accuses Dwight of breaking property code laws
S7E11: Dwight and Jim keep throwing snowballs at each other with force, and some that contained pebbles (snowball fights themselves aren’t illegal, but it’s illegal in most places to throw objects which could be considered missiles, and Jim is also shown with what appears to be blood on his clothes afterwards); Dwight asks Toby is he’s on the jury for the middle school teacher who tried to turn a foreign exchange student into a sex slave; Meredith asks Toby if it’s the case with the postman who rubbed his genitals on deliveries; Michael throws out supplies and food meant for the Christmas party; Dwight is shown dragging the Christmas tree out of the office to throw it out; one of the snowballs that Jim lobs at Dwight breaks a window; Michael throws Holly’s Woody doll into the trash and pours coffee on it
S7E12: Jim stabs a few snowmen with his umbrella hoping that Dwight is hiding in one of them
S7E13: Michael claims that regardless if Holly gets engaged or not, he will probably either attack people in rage or burn the building down in happiness
S7E15: Michael leaves without paying at the Chinese restaurant; Creed is also listed on the wall of diners who did not pay for their meal
S7E17: Michael most likely did not have permits to film in some of the locations featured in Threat Level Midnight; multiple characters in Michael’s film are seen using guns (you do not need a permit to have a gun in your home or business place in Pennsylvania, but multiple characters concealed their weapons during the film, though the guns are likely fake); a mannequin of Toby is blown up during Michael’s film (depending on the type of explosive used, certification may be required); during the hockey scene of the film, Michael comments that it was filmed during an actual Scranton High hockey game (could be seen as defiant trespassing and/or disorderly conduct)
S7E18: Packer humps Michael and Dwight while they’re underneath a desk; Dwight throws away Holly’s zen garden; Dwight offers Packer a hot chocolate laced with many laxatives (depending on the amount, it could be considered assault or even homicide since extreme dehydration could kill someone); Andy purposely does damage to his computer’s keyboard and hard drive; Andy and Pam slightly damage Andy’s new computer; Jim and Dwight pretend to be Sabre employees and tell Packer he can jump the gate at Jo’s house
S7E19: Ryan uses Phyllis and Oscar’s faces on his mom’s pesto and salsa recipes (would fall under right of publicity laws); Ryan adds a Kosher certification onto his mom’s pesto recipe (against FDA regulations); Michael pours gasoline all over the parking lot; Michael wants to steal a corpse from a medical school to use in his proposal to Holly
S7E20: Michael eggs Toby’s house; Kevin colors on a restaurant tablecloth with crayons; Ryan admits to have done drugs in the past
S7E21: Gabe confronts Andy and threatens him to stay away from Erin (could be considered criminal threatening); Deangelo claims that he caught the person who stole one of Jo’s dogs
S7E24: Dwight accidentally fires his gun through the floor; Meredith claims that during the shooting she lost her necklace, a ring, and a painting and will be reporting it to the insurance company; Ryan claims that Dwight’s accident felt like an act of terrorism; Pam claims that Dwight has hidden more weapons in the office
S7E25: Creed parks his car in the middle of the parking lot
S7E26: Dwight admits that he would have created a fake identity for his character of Jacques Souvenier if Jo had hired him as manager
S8E1: Dwight uses a fire extinguisher to knock Meredith off of the top of a bathroom stall, drops a ream of paper on a warehouse employee’s head to get him off a table, and flips a table over to get Toby off of it; Dwight throws Jim’s phone against the wall with force and a shatter is heard; Dwight instigates a fight between nearly everyone in the office
S8E2: Andy says he will streak across the parking lot if the office accrues enough points
S8E3: Dwight pours his drink on the inside of someone’s car; Oscar smashes the car’s window and brake light with a crowbar; Dwight drives the baler through the warehouse wall; Erin and Kevin spread grease all over the warehouse floor; Dwight, Jim, Erin, and Kevin damage multiple boxes of paper
S8E4: Dunder Mifflin billboards across town are shown to be vandalized; Mose crashes Toby’s car into a corn field; Mose very tightly lines up everyone’s cars so that he can run across the roofs (he likely made scratches and dents while planning and executing this plan)
S8E5: Dwight is shown to have brought many weapons into the office in the past as part of Halloween costumes and threatened to kill Toby with them (though the weapons were never concealed and Toby usually confiscated them before he entered the office
S8E6: Oscar stated in an email that he believes that Robert has strangled at least one stripper; Kelly states in an email that they should kill Robert; Dwight’s accountability booster is dangerously close to a form of blackmail; Gabe says that he is going to go to a cemetery and drink (it’s actually illegal to drink in most cemeteries); Pam stops Kevin from hitting Dwight over the head with a frying pan; Jim takes Robert’s phone and attempts to deletes an email (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission)
S8E7: Dwight repeatedly grabs Jim’s crotch
S8E8: A Civil War informational video reveals that the soldiers from Schrute Farm were soldiers that went AWOL
S8E9: When Dwight suggests that everyone in the office is in a suicide cult, Creed strongly denies it, implying that he probably is in one; Jim leaves his car running and unattended in the middle of the parking lot
S8E10: Dwight punches Jim in the arm; Erin asks Andy for Jessica to die; Meredith threatens to drive drunk if Andy doesn’t drive her home; Meredith rides in the back of her van without a seatbelt on
S8E11: Andy asks Oscar to add $800 to their quarterly sales, implying it could be seen as a rounding error; Kevin offers to make that rounding error for Andy
S8E12: Jim drives over Robert’s lawn and breaks his mailbox
S8E15: Jim creates a fake murder scene in his hotel room for Dwight which involved stained towels, knocked over and possibly broken furniture, a writing on the door; Dwight threatens to light Jim’s face on fire; Dwight leaves the hospital with his IV solution bag, which implies he likely didn’t pay for his visit before leaving
S8E16: Gabe sprays an inhaler into Packer’s drink; Dwight damages his hotel room keycard; Dwight sprays a compound of chemicals in Jim’s hotel room creating what he claims is a biohazard
S8E17: Multiple homeless people are sleeping on the sidewalk outside the Sabre store (it’s usually only illegal for homeless individuals to sleep on the sidewalk if a shelter is available); Dwight tells Packer that he should act like a sexual predator when talking to the female teenage customers; a group of children throw pinecones at Andy and Pam, and one of them punches Andy in the face resulting in a black eye; Creed strikes the back of Meredith’s head; Ryan calls his uncle to get a prescription for Ritalin; Kelly attacks Toby and then accidentally elbows Andy in the face
S8E18: Dwight leaves a treasure chest in the office which fires a poisoned dart upwards at whomever opens it; Jim and Dwight tackle and punch each other; Kevin forcibly kisses Meredith
S8E19: Darryl drags Dwight out of his office by his hair; Andy tosses a container of eggplant parmesan onto the street; Andy leaves his car unattended in the middle of an intersection
S8E20: Dwight offers to hit Nellie with a candlestick; Jessica’s friends throw food at Andy’s car
S8E21: Andy smashes the frame holding a picture of Nellie; Andy punches another hole into the wall
S8E22: Andy loiters at the office parking lot
S8E23: Dwight and Jim create a fake identity to work around the commission cap (Dwight even admits that it’s extremely similar to embezzlement or fraud); Harry threatens to choke out Toby; Dwight tells Jim he should dent the hood of Harry’s car or slash the tires; Dwight attempts to activate the elevator’s seismic failsafes to stop the elevator; Pam steals Nellie’s phone and deletes all of her voicemails (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission); Andy tells Robert if he doesn’t hire him back, he will give Prestige Direct Mail Solutions’ business to a competitor (technically blackmail)
S8E24: Kevin and Robert accidentally head butt each other; Andy mops the carpets, likely damaging them; Dwight steals Philip’s used diaper so he can have a paternity test done (this is called gene theft); Angela and Dwight both speed and drive recklessly; Angela hits Mose multiple times; Dwight and Mose both leave their cars unattended in the middle of the street; Robert forcibly kisses Andy; Dwight forces himself on Angela (though seconds later she is a willing participant)
S9E1: Andy threatens to make up a reason to fire Nellie (since Toby is aware of this, if Nellie were to sue Andy, Toby would have to testify against him); Andy purposely pushes Nellie off of the slack-lining rope; Dwight deconstructs Dunder Mifflin equipment to create his trapeze set; Dwight gets stuck on the slack-line and the fire department has to come to get him down; Andy places all of the recycling bins near Nellie and has people throw their trash at her
S9E2: While the building’s janitor is on vacation, the building becomes incredibly dirty to the point where rats can be seen (likely against multiple health codes); Nellie forces Dwight into a situation where he has to chop off her hand (though he doesn’t go through with it)
S9E3: Nellie drives recklessly; Nellie uses her phone while driving
S9E4: Dwight and Toby find EMF hotspots in the office which could imply that there’s poor wiring in the building (depending on how bad the wiring actually is, this could actually break laws); Stanley threatens to spank Clark; Dwight drives the work bus (depending on the type of bus it was, Dwight would need a certain license to drive it); Phyllis asks someone to just start driving the bus while Dwight is on the roof; Dwight drops himself through the rooftop emergency exit on the bus onto Jim; Dwight drives the bus recklessly
S9E5: Creed comes into the office with blood stains all over his clothes (it likely was not his blood, so he may have harmed someone); Andy reveals he had sex with a snowman while at Cornell (would fall under public indecency); Dwight catches Meredith in a net and causes her to fall to the floor
S9E6: Kevin leaves his car in the middle of the parking lot so he can run to the bathroom; Oscar forges documents to make it looks like Kevin has been taking money from Dunder Mifflin; Nellie, Jim, Pam, and Darryl create a situation where Dwight believes that police have surrounded David’s house; Pete’s friend Flipper once drunkenly flipped a table over at a bar
S9E7: Dwight claims he used to have a barber who fought dogs and made dogs fight each other; Clark is used as leverage by Dwight to get Jan’s business (this trade would be dangerously close to prostitution)
S9E8: Dwight reveals that Trevor has had numerous guns stolen from him; Angela hires Trevor to murder Oscar; Dwight claims he has left poop in a paper bag on people’s porches (would be classified as vandalism); Trevor claims that people have left poop in a bag on his porch multiple times; Angela asks Trevor to break Oscar’s kneecaps instead; Trevor brings a concealed weapon into the office; Phyllis taps a stranger on the back with the sharp end of a knife; Phyllis forcibly removes a decorative wine bottle from its base; Angela kicks Oscar in the shin
S9E9: Dwight hits Oscar and Jim with a stick; Darryl collapses on a table and breaks it in half
S9E10: Dwight throws his coffee cup up in the air, likely staining the carpet; Dwight sprays a disinfectant in Erin, Pam, Angela, and Meredith’s faces; Erin tackles Stanley; Meredith reveals that one of her exes keyed a bunch of people’s cars; Meredith also reveals that she pooped into an office shredder; Dwight accidentally sets off an insecticidal grenade (I don’t believe there is a real insecticidal grenade but I’m sure there’s some law against either setting one off or doing so with people nearby); Angela hits Oscar in the head with a coffee pot; Kevin misuses one of the warehouse machines and causes it to break; Dwight accidentally sets off another insecticidal grenade in his car (he most likely still drove his car after while experiencing hallucinogenic side effects)
S9E11: Jim is seen driving a motorcycle (Jim likely did not have a motorcycle license); Dwight suggests that Jim should drive 240 miles per hour so he can get to the office faster; Creed steals Phyllis’ ring; Kevin forcibly lifts Angela up multiple times; Darryl misses a basketball hoop and accidentally breaks a wall lamp and electrocutes a fish tank (though Darryl agreed to pay for the damage); multiple people in the office tear up the carpet flooring
S9E12: Dwight rips open a couch cushion with a knife; Dwight drives one of the delivery trucks (he likely does not have a license to drive the truck); Dwight throws a milkshake through the drive-thru window at an employee; a customer in the drive-thru throws a milkshake at Dwight
S9E13: Dwight reveals that Rolf uses hand grenades to fish; Mose is seen running in the middle of the street (could be considered jaywalking); Dwight reveals that when he was a child, he went to a school that was run by a conman; one of Dwight’s friends reveals that the school used the students as labor; Melvina reveals that she’s been double parked for about two hours; Dwight gives the sales rep applicants Jim’s home address so they can toilet paper it; Rolf tells Dwight to be weary of any suspicious packages he may get, implying that he’ll be sending him potentially dangerous packages; Dwight attempts to suffocate Clarke
S9E14: Frank vandalizes Pam’s warehouse mural; Angela hits Oscar; Dwight and Pam vandalize Frank’s truck; Frank rushes at Pam with the intent to hit her; Brian hits Frank in the face with his boom mic
S9E15: Meredith suggests that everyone in the office should try cocaine
S9E16: Dwight’s Aunt Shirley slaps Angela; Andy snoops through Erin’s phone; Andy kicks Toby; Angela accidentally sets off the hose on Dwight (the hose likely has the same pressure as a firehose, which is about 150 PSI, so this could be considered assault); Toby leaves the prison wearing a neck brace after visiting the Scranton Stranger, implying the Strangler attempted to strangled him;
S9E17: Dwight throws dirt in the faces of Erin, Phyllis, Kevin, Oscar, Meredith, Angela, Stanley, Pam and Jim; Dwight’s brother Jeb drives his car into Aunt Shirley’s grave; Packer reveals he’s in Narcotics Anonymous, implying he used to use drugs; Dwight reveals that his family members have accidentally buried family members who were thought to be dead but were actually in deep sleep; Dwight unloads a shotgun into his aunt’s corpse; Jeb reveals that he owns a worm farm in California (medical marijuana was not legalized in California until 2018); Packer reveals that the cupcakes he gave out to everyone in the office, as well as to Jim and Darryl were laced with drugs, some legal and some not; Packer is seen having parked his car halfway between a handicapped spot and a do-not-park zone; Clarke reveals that while drugged, he defected in some bushes
S9E18: Dwight dumps a bucket of water onto Phyllis, and is likely the same person who dumped a bucket of water onto Andy as well (technically would be classified as assault); Meredith exposes her breasts in the office; Angela slaps Oscar
S9E19: Dwight shoots Stanley with three tranquilizers meant for a bull (horse tranquilizers can cause serious harm to humans, and a bull tranquilizer likely has a higher dosage); Meredith squirts some of the bull tranquilizer into her drink (probably not illegal since she put it into her own drink, but it would be classified as placing a foreign object into an edible, which is actually a felony); Dwight and Clarke accidentally slam Stanley’s unconscious body into two walls; while sliding down a flight of stairs, Stanley’s unconscious body makes a dent in the wall; Andy kicks over an empty trash can; a man at the talent agency claims that through his dog-cat-mouse act, he goes through a lot of mice (allowing your pet to eat live animals can be considered animal cruelty); Stanley tranquilizes himself so that he doesn’t have to climb the stairs
S9E20: Creed smashes a melon on the warehouse floor; Pam accidentally hits Toby in the eye with a paper airplane; Erin reveals that when she was in the orphanage, she once ripped Susan’s pigtails off of her head; Erin crushes a box of packing peanuts; Clarke asks Pam and Jim to share the drugs he think they’re high on; Angela is seen taking rolls of toilet paper from the office
S9E21: Lackawanna County takes away “two sacks” worth of Angela’s cats because she is violating her apartment complex’s pet rules; Dwight throws his briefcase and hits multiple items; Dwight nearly kicks and punches multiple in the office; Andy asks Toby to falsify files; Andy attempts to grope Toby; Andy dedicates on David’s car (this would be classified as vandalism and public indecency);
S9E22: Dwight reveals that his grandmother was shot by Adolph Coors; Dwight throws the summoning bag against the back of Jim’s head; Casey Dean jumps on the back of the a cappella show host; Meredith spanks Darryl; Dwight is seen driving with his police light on his car; Dwight drives recklessly
S9E23: Dwight reveals that Creed faked his own death; Dwight also reveals that the police are looking for Creed as he sold drugs, trafficked endangered animal meat, and stole weapons-grade LSD from the military; Oscar reveals that Kevin used to make up numbers to balance the books; Mose kidnaps Angela and locks her in his trunk for three hours; Creed changes his identity; Ryan reveals that his partner abandoned him and their child; Ryan purposely gives his son an allergic reaction; Kelly and Ryan abandon his son with Ravi; Nellie takes Ryan’s son as her own child (she didn’t legally adopt him so this would be considered child abduction); Pam attempts to sell their home without Jim’s knowledge (since Jim bought the house as a surprise, his name is likely on the deed as well and Pam wouldn’t be able to sell it without him); Kevin spills alcohol all over a cabinet while filling up glasses
submitted by The_DMcI123 to DunderMifflin [link] [comments]

What's happening around town (Wed, Sep 25th - Tue, Oct 1st)

Tulsa's event list.

Ongoing

Wednesday, Sep 25th

  • 🎓 Bounce'n Beethovens (Owasso Library - Owasso) Thru Fri, Sep 27th Start Time: 6:30pm Children and parents explore music through movement and instruments as they play with egg shakers, bells, rhythm sticks, drums and maracas in this fun, interactive program. Registration is required as class size is limited. Register online or call 918-549-7323. Please register for only one Bounce'n Beethovens class per month. For ages birth-5.…
  • Discover Your Heritage with Genealogy DNA (Tulsa City County Library - Tulsa) Thru Fri, Sep 27th Start Time: 12:00pm One Book, One Tulsa Wednesday, Sept 25, 12-1 p.m. Jenks Library Friday, Sept 27, 10:30-11:30 a.m. Schusterman-Benson Library Join Liz Walker, Genealogy Resources Center associate, and discover options available for autosomal DNA testing and how a test can help adoptees, and compare what tools the different testing sites have to offer. For…
  • Food Truck Wednesdays (Guthrie Green - Tulsa) Every Wednesday, grab some tasty eats and gather on the grounds of Guthrie Green. During Food Truck Wednesdays, lunchtime…
  • 🎓 JobNewsUSA.com Tulsa Job Faur (Tulsa Renaissance Hotel & Convention Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 10:00am ATTN: Job Seekers! 100s of Jobs are up for grabs at the Tulsa Job Fair on September 25th! This is your opportunity to meet one-on-one with recruiters and hiring managers from some of the area’s best businesses who are now hiring for immediate openings!
    Whether you’re looking for an entry-level position or a more experienced management…
  • Les Miserables (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Sep 29th Experience the award-winning musical phenomenon "Les Miserables" at Tulsa Performing Arts Center. Cameron…
  • 😂 Nick Hoff (Loony Bin - Tulsa) Thru Sat, Sep 28th
  • Tulsa Roughnecks FC vs San Antonio FC (ONEOK Field - Tulsa) Support the Tulsa Roughnecks FC professional soccer team as they take on San Antonio FC at ONEOK Field in Tulsa. Since its…
  • 🍴 Take 5: Korean-American Literature (Tulsa City County Library - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:00pm One Book, One Tulsa Martin Regional Library Join us for an evening dedicated to Korean-American literature. Five avid readers will share their favorite reads in five minutes! Leave with 25 readings suggestions designed to inspire. Bookish activities, door prizes and light refreshments will round out the perfect evening. This event is part of…

Thursday, Sep 26th

  • Bedtime Stories (Owasso Library - Owasso) Start Time: 6:30pm Join us for our evening storytime! Bring the whole family for this 0-to-5 storytime! There’s something for everyone – simple songs and books for the little ones, more interactive stories and activities for your older children. Children are welcome to wear their pajamas.
  • Ben & Noel Haggard in Concert (Expo Square - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:00pm Catch country artists Ben & Noel Haggard live as they make their way to the Tulsa State Fair. Listen from your…
  • 🎓 Bounce'n Beethovens (Owasso Library - Owasso) 1 day left Start Time: 6:30pm Children and parents explore music through movement and instruments as they play with egg shakers, bells, rhythm sticks, drums and maracas in this fun, interactive program. Registration is required as class size is limited. Register online or call 918-549-7323. Please register for only one Bounce'n Beethovens class per month. For ages birth-5.…
  • Champions of Health Gala (Cox Business Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 6:00pm Organizations making a positive impact on the health of Oklahomans will be honored at the 2019 Champions of Health Gala at 6 p.m. on Thursday, Sept. 26 at Cox Business Center in Tulsa. To make a reservation, call (855) 628-8642 by September 19. All proceeds benefit the Oklahoma Caring Foundation, a non-profit organization administered by Blue…
  • Cheify w/ many more (Blackbird On Pearl - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:30pm
  • Cruise Night Live Music (Tulsa Raceway Park - Tulsa) Start Time: 6:00pm
  • Discover Your Heritage with Genealogy DNA (Tulsa City County Library - Tulsa) 1 day left Start Time: 12:00pm One Book, One Tulsa Wednesday, Sept 25, 12-1 p.m. Jenks Library Friday, Sept 27, 10:30-11:30 a.m. Schusterman-Benson Library Join Liz Walker, Genealogy Resources Center associate, and discover options available for autosomal DNA testing and how a test can help adoptees, and compare what tools the different testing sites have to offer. For…
  • Food Truck Thursday (Downtown - Claremore) Once a month, downtown Claremore transforms into a community hub teeming with people. During Food Truck Thursday, join…
  • 🎡 Ford Family Fun Night (Expo Square - Tulsa) Start Time: 11:00am Gate Admission is only $3 with a coupon from your local Ford Dealer. Rides are only $2 each during Midway hours (does not include Extreme Rides). Gate Admission without Ford coupon is $5. Promotion starts at 11am; not valid with other promotions or offers.
  • Green on Greenwood Health & Wealth Expo (Greenwood Cultural Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 10:00am ❤️2nd ANNUAL GREEN ON GREENWOOD HEALTH & WEALTH EXPO❤️ The OCBA is proud to bring you another year of Oklahoma's biggest and best two-day expo for Green businesses and patient education annnnd it's FREE!! Last year, OCBA brought Oklahoma's FIRST CannaBiz Expo!!! We had 96 vendor, 24 speakers and OVER 7,000 attendees in TWO days and this…
  • I AM THEY (Mabee Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:00pm Pop-acoustic worship group I AM THEY is announcing plans to headline The Trial & Triumph Tour this fall during the month of September with special guests @[346090915180:274:Dan Bremnes] and @[1791758947747360:274:Elle Limebear]. “Earlier this year we embarked on a small headlining run with some of our friends at radio,” says I AM THEY’s…
  • Les Miserables (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Sep 29th Experience the award-winning musical phenomenon "Les Miserables" at Tulsa Performing Arts Center. Cameron…
  • Mickey's Search Party (Expo Square - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Sep 29th Tulsa State Fair attendees can take a break from all the turkey legs and carnival rides with a ticket to Disney on Ice's…
  • 😂 Nick Hoff (Loony Bin - Tulsa) Thru Sat, Sep 28th
  • 🎭 Republican Hair (The Vanguard - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Tulsa State Fair (Expo Square - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Oct 6th Bring the whole family out for Tulsa's largest annual event, the Tulsa State Fair, and enjoy fun-filled, family…

Friday, Sep 27th

  • Aaron Watson in Concert (Expo Square - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:00pm Catch country artist Aaron Watson live as he makes his way to the Tulsa State Fair. Listen from your spot in front of…
  • 🎓 Bounce'n Beethovens (Owasso Library - Owasso) Last Day Start Time: 6:30pm Children and parents explore music through movement and instruments as they play with egg shakers, bells, rhythm sticks, drums and maracas in this fun, interactive program. Registration is required as class size is limited. Register online or call 918-549-7323. Please register for only one Bounce'n Beethovens class per month. For ages birth-5.…
  • 🏃 Cycle For Life Night Ride (River West Festival Park - Tulsa) Evening ride, great for cyclists of all skill levels, benefiting the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Fully-supported ride with route options of 30 & 15 miles, including stocked rest stops and bike support along the routes. Start the evening by decorating your bike, body, and helmet at our Get Lit tent, and plan to enjoy our post-ride party upon…
  • Discover Your Heritage with Genealogy DNA (Tulsa City County Library - Tulsa) Last Day Start Time: 12:00pm One Book, One Tulsa Wednesday, Sept 25, 12-1 p.m. Jenks Library Friday, Sept 27, 10:30-11:30 a.m. Schusterman-Benson Library Join Liz Walker, Genealogy Resources Center associate, and discover options available for autosomal DNA testing and how a test can help adoptees, and compare what tools the different testing sites have to offer. For…
  • 🎨 Film on the Lawn: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (Philbrook Downtown - Tulsa) Start Time: 6:00pm Friday, September 27, 6:00 PM
    Gene Wilder puts on his Wonka hat and makes our wildest dreams come true in this 1971 adaptation of Roald Dahl's famous novel. Do you have your golden ticket? Bring a picnic or get a burger at Kitchen 27's Burger Night. Member tickets available on Monday, April 22 Not-Yet Member tickets available on Monday, April…
  • Fridays in the Loft Chamber Music (FlyLoft - Tulsa) The Tulsa Symphony Orchestra presents a regular Fridays in the Loft Chamber Music series. Take a seat at the Fly Loft in…
  • Friday Night Test N Tune (Tulsa Raceway Park - Tulsa) Start Time: 6:00pm
  • Jackson Taylor and The Sinners (The Shrine - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:30pm
  • 🎭 Kansas Password: knowreturn (Brady Theater - Tulsa) Start Time: 10:00pm KANSAS - POINT OF KNOW RETURN - FRI 9/27 Venue Presale Now thru Thu 4/11 10pm Online Only with Password: KNOWRETURN Link: http://bit.ly/KansasTulsaOK
  • 🎭 Kansas 'Point of Know Return (Brady Theater - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:30pm
  • Les Miserables (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Sep 29th Experience the award-winning musical phenomenon "Les Miserables" at Tulsa Performing Arts Center. Cameron…
  • Mickey's Search Party (Expo Square - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Sep 29th Tulsa State Fair attendees can take a break from all the turkey legs and carnival rides with a ticket to Disney on Ice's…
  • Miss Nelson Has a Field Day (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:00pm Presented By: Imagination Series Tulsa PAC Trust Return to Horace B. Smedley School where the Smedley Tornadoes have never won a football game. In fact, they have never even scored a single point! With such a poor record and a team that is out of control, kindhearted Miss Nelson comes to the rescue, enlisting the help of her alter ego, the…
  • 😂 Nick Hoff (Loony Bin - Tulsa) 1 day left
  • Peter and the Wolf (Tulsa Ballet - Tulsa) Kids are invited to the family-friendly "Peter and the Wolf" production, featuring a familiar cast of characters…
  • Route 66 Cruisers Cruise-In & Car Show (Claremore Lake Park - Claremore) Day 1 of 2 Bring the entire family out to the annual Route 66 Cruisers Cruise-In & Car Show in Claremore to celebrate classic cars…
  • 🏃 RunnersWord Tulsa Urban Adventure Run (RunnersWorld Tulsa - Tulsa) Join us for the fifth annual RunnersWorld Tulsa 26.2, 50, or 100 Mile Urban Adventure Race!
    Route Map Here: http://www.mapmyrun.com/routes/view/1283863087
    The RunnersWorld Tulsa Urban Adventure Race promises to be an unforgettable running experience. It is an urban adventure, a running tour of Tulsa, beginning and ending at RunnersWorld…
  • Tulsa State Fair (Expo Square - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Oct 6th Bring the whole family out for Tulsa's largest annual event, the Tulsa State Fair, and enjoy fun-filled, family…
  • 🎓 Tulsa State Fair Draft Horse Show (Expo Square - Tulsa) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 8:00am Mark your calendars to attend the Tulsa Fair Draft Horse show in Tulsa OK!! September 27 & 28 2019. Hitch, halter, pleasure & riding classes. Obstacle courses. Costume class. Loads of fun! Free for anyone wanting to come watch! Registration deadline August 30th. https://www.tulsastatefair.com/p/getconnected/livestock-and-horse-shows/horsehandbook
  • 🎨 Young at Art: Diary of a Worm, a Spider and a Fly (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 11:30am Young at Art: Diary of a Worm, a Spider and a Fly Sept. 27-28 at 11:30 a.m. :: John H. Williams Theatre **The Young At Art series is designed for public, private and home-schooled children. These one-hour shows open new doors for children by introducing the performing arts to new generations. All tickets are $5. "The Diary of a Worm, a Spider…

Saturday, Sep 28th

  • 🏃 Tulsa 5K Rosary/Cathedral Run (Holy Family Cathedral - Tulsa) It's a 5k run or 1 mile walk with a twist. See all the historic churches in downtown Tulsa while participating in the Rosary! It's where prayer meets the pavement!
    This is a USATF sanctioned race but not chipped timed. Top 3 male and top 3 female finishers will be awarded prizes.
    Sign up online at http://tulsarosaryrun.com
  • 🏃 Tulsa Bicycle Club Fall Century (Whirlpool Plant - Tulsa) The best fall ride in Oklahoma! Explore the backroads of rural Tulsa county. Add great SAG support, filling and relaxing rest stops, and you get the very best in Oklahoma cycling in the fall. Register soon ... and why not join the Club and save yourself $5 on registration for this ride plus enjoy the many other benefits of membership!
  • 🎭 Chandler Park Open Mic (Chandler Park - Tulsa) Start Time: 6:00pm $2/person. Your chance to be a star! Singing, dance, stand up, poetry; show everyone what you've got! Concessions available. Sign up by phone/at location. 918-591-6053.
  • 🎭 The Drunkard and the Olio (Tulsa Spotlight Theatre - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:30pm
  • Ginuwine in Concert (Expo Square - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:00pm Catch R&B artist Ginuwine live as he makes his way to the Tulsa State Fair. Listen from your spot in front of…
  • Les Miserables (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) 1 day left Experience the award-winning musical phenomenon "Les Miserables" at Tulsa Performing Arts Center. Cameron…
  • Mickey's Search Party (Expo Square - Tulsa) 1 day left Tulsa State Fair attendees can take a break from all the turkey legs and carnival rides with a ticket to Disney on Ice's…
  • 😂 Nick Hoff (Loony Bin - Tulsa) Last Day
  • 🏆 OSSAA State Cheerleading (Mabee Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 11:00am $7 Cash | $8 Credit Card General Admission More information at https://mabeecenter.com/event/ossaacheerleading2019
  • Rose District Farmers Market (Rose District Plaza - Broken Arrow) Thru Sat, Oct 26th Start Time: 8:00am different music, events, and guests, each week
  • Route 66 Cruisers Cruise-In & Car Show (Claremore Lake Park - Claremore) Day 2 of 2 Bring the entire family out to the annual Route 66 Cruisers Cruise-In & Car Show in Claremore to celebrate classic cars…
  • Soul Fest (Guthrie Green - Tulsa) Don't miss one of Guthrie Green's biggest music events of the year during Soul Fest. This free, family-friendly…
  • Tulsa State Fair (Expo Square - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Oct 6th Bring the whole family out for Tulsa's largest annual event, the Tulsa State Fair, and enjoy fun-filled, family…
  • 🎓 Tulsa State Fair Draft Horse Show (Expo Square - Tulsa) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 8:00am Mark your calendars to attend the Tulsa Fair Draft Horse show in Tulsa OK!! September 27 & 28 2019. Hitch, halter, pleasure & riding classes. Obstacle courses. Costume class. Loads of fun! Free for anyone wanting to come watch! Registration deadline August 30th. https://www.tulsastatefair.com/p/getconnected/livestock-and-horse-shows/horsehandbook
  • 🏃 Susan G. Komen Tulsa Race for the Cure (River Spirit Casino - Tulsa) Join us for the Annual Susan G. Komen Tulsa Race for the Cure® starting at the Rivers Spirit Casino Resort. Races will include a half marathon, 5K timed event, 5K untimed event and 1-mile fun run/walk. Visit komentulsa.org for more information!
  • 🎨 Teen Program: Butterfly Gardening and Rock Painting (Tulsa Garden Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 1:00pm Part of the teens-only program! Butterflies are some of the most beautiful and interesting creatures on Earth and they make the world a little more colorful. In this workshop to learn why butterflies are beneficial and how to attract them to your yard. After touring the Linnaeus Butterfly Garden we will be guided in painting beautiful garden…
  • Turner & Boggs Suicide Awareness Concert (Tulsa Raceway Park - Tulsa) Start Time: 4:00pm

Sunday, Sep 29th

  • Blacktop Mojo and Guests (The Shrine - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:00pm Headliner: Blacktop Mojo Special Guest: Cyanide Hook Doxy Firstryke Oklahoma Alibi
  • 🎡 Lanco (Expo Square - Tulsa) Sunday, September 29th: Give a BIG Oklahoma welcome to our friends LANCO! We can't wait! Want the best seats in the house? Get your River Spirit VIP Section tickets TODAY!
  • Legendary Midnight Drags (Tulsa Raceway Park - Tulsa) Start Time: 11:00pm
  • Les Miserables (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Last Day Experience the award-winning musical phenomenon "Les Miserables" at Tulsa Performing Arts Center. Cameron…
  • Mickey's Search Party (Expo Square - Tulsa) Last Day Tulsa State Fair attendees can take a break from all the turkey legs and carnival rides with a ticket to Disney on Ice's…
  • Tulsa State Fair (Expo Square - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Oct 6th Bring the whole family out for Tulsa's largest annual event, the Tulsa State Fair, and enjoy fun-filled, family…

Monday, Sep 30th

  • 🎡 For King & Country (Expo Square - Tulsa) Alright Oklahoma, we know you love for KING & COUNTRY so we're bringing them back! Who wants to go? Want the best seats in the house? Get your River Spirit VIP Section tickets TODAY!
  • 🎡 Mazzio's Ride-A-Thon (Expo Square - Tulsa) Start Time: 11:00am Save $10 on a ride wristband by picking up a coupon at your local Mazzio's (does not include Gate Admission and Extreme Rides). Price without Mazzio's coupon is $45.
  • 🎭 Open Mic (Blackbird On Pearl - Tulsa) Start Time: 8:00pm
  • Tulsa State Fair (Expo Square - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Oct 6th Bring the whole family out for Tulsa's largest annual event, the Tulsa State Fair, and enjoy fun-filled, family…

Tuesday, Oct 1st

  • 🎡 Alltech's Family Fest (Expo Square - Tulsa) Start Time: 11:00am Gate Admission is only $6 per person; Children (under age 5) are FREE. Seniors (62+) and Military are FREE until 2pm; proper identification required at time of purchase. Not valid with other promotions or offers.
  • 🎨 Clothed in Strength and Dignity (Tulsa Performing Art Center - Tulsa) Start Time: 10:00am Clothed in Strength and Dignity Sept. 5 � Oct 1, 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. and during Chapman Music Hall events :: PAC Gallery Katie Wheat Pernu has spent most of her life teaching others about art. She holds a degree in Art Education from Northern Arizona University and achieved National Board Certification as an art teacher. She has instructed…
  • 🎡 Lovelytheband (Expo Square - Tulsa) Just go ahead and call us awesomethefair because we just snagged lovelytheband for October 1st! Want the best seats in the house? Get your River Spirit VIP Section tickets TODAY!
  • Open Jam Aka Community Sound (Blackbird On Pearl - Tulsa) Start Time: 9:00pm
  • Tulsa State Fair (Expo Square - Tulsa) Thru Sun, Oct 6th Bring the whole family out for Tulsa's largest annual event, the Tulsa State Fair, and enjoy fun-filled, family…
  • 🎭 Sublime with Rome (Brady Theater - Tulsa) Start Time: 7:00pm Sublime with Rome - October 1 Special Guests The Expendables and Tropidelic On Sale Fri 8/9 10am

See Also

submitted by tulsanewsbot to tulsa [link] [comments]

Destination: Tulalip

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
Tulalip Resort Casino is an Indian casino and resort in Quil Ceda Village, Washington, owned and operated by the Tulalip Tribes of Washington. It opened in 2004 as Tulalip Casino, and was renamed in late 2007 because of the new hotel, which opened August 15, 2008.[1] In addition to the AAA Four Diamond award-winning 12-story hotel with 370 rooms and suites, the resort includes 192,000 square feet (17,800 m2) of gaming space. The property has 7 restaurants: Tulalip Bay, Blackfish, Cedars Cafe, The Draft Bar and Grill, Journeys East, Eagles Buffet and Canoes Carvery. The T Spa is the resort's onsite spa and features 14,000 square feet (1,300 m2) of treatment rooms. There are also meeting facilities, and the Canoes Cabaret, Orca Ballroom, and Tulalip Amphitheatre for entertainment events.[1]
DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO A DOMESTIC FIGHT
I had just passed through Arlington when the Taco Time began to take hold. The meaty filling and breathtaking sauces had begun to plummet my belly's pH level to a low that now refused all immigrants to my stomach like a pack of Texans at a gun show in a Trump convention. Or something. I turned to my wife and told her we were going to need to stop.
This was a mistake.
She beamed at me and said "How about the Outlet Mall?"
I would like to say I didn't shit my pants. But I shit my pants. I needed to pull over and a thought occurred to me. Well, two thoughts: fireworks and the casino. Any able bodied Washingtonian should know that the Outlet Mall in Tulalip is a win situation. In fact, it's not a bad idea to tell your wife that "Hey, you deserve a treat - let's go to the Outlet Mall in Tulalip." And then drive her up there, stay for the Banana Republic and Starbucks and then "Hey, hon, I might have more fun if I went over to the casino." And then drink until she has to drive and gamble until she has to take all the clothing she bought at the mall back.
So, it was off to the Outlet Mall. Luckily, they sold underwear.
THERE IS NO OUTLET AT THE OUTLETS
Nothing in life is free. And nothing in life is easy. So, I did have to purchase new underwear and I had a little more trouble than I imagined getting out of the Outlet Mall.
The mall seems extremely escapable as it's outside. However, you must be quick with your "Ho-hum, I'll just go to the Casino" story. You must say it nonchalant and give your partner a look that says "I can take it or leave it". Unfortunately for me, she replied "Maybe next time."
I forgot that our chance adventure at the Outlet Mall was a product of me shitting my pants and not a gift on a Saturday of spousal Outlet shopping.
"Look" I said. "I need to sit down and rest. We just spent the last five hours driving from Canada down here and Taco Time made me shit my pants AND I had to go into Banana Republic. I need to chill. This is important to me." Telling a loved one something is important to you is very important. You must use it wisely.
She gave me a look that said that she wouldn't forget it, but I got clearance to leave. I nodded her adieu and made my way through the Outletters.
There is a sick notion in the American mind that goods and services can be had on the cheap by venturing into an Outlet Mall. Nothing can be further from the truth. In fact, the new underwear I was wearing had already begun to split at the seams. There is a reason the Outlets are far away from civilization - it impedes returns.
Teams of tourists surrounded me, looking for bargains, when all I wanted to do was get away from them. The cheap kitchenware and taffy were not the drugs I needed at this time. I needed fireworks, beer, and that feeling that only comes when you pull cash out of a credit card to get your bank account back from the greedy wheel at the roulette table.
"Back, you!" I shouted at the Scientologist that is a permanent fixture at the Outlet Mall.
"But it's just a personality test!" She screamed after me.
"I take that personal!" I screamed back.
Into a Japanese tourist I slammed and spilled their belongings of muffin pans, omelet makers, and fudge named after some damn mountain in Montana that no one knows about or wants to.
Security was on me and took a hold of my collar and shook me like a bag of gold. "Out of here, you joker!" the guard yelled.
"Thank you." I whispered as he shoved me out into the parking lot and on my way to the firework stand.
TWO NATIONS MEET
There's nothing like a firework stand. Well, nothing like a good one: the kind that will sell you enough explosives to get sanctions slapped on you. Tulalip was one.
Much like sister city Auburn, Tulalip did not disappoint in the firework department. They had razzlers, tazzlers, jizzles and phazims. They had rollies, tollies, gollies, and bazims. I made all those words up, but the point is that you simply point at the biggest cannon you see at the stand and say "I'll take that."
Some of the fireworks are themed. There's a Terminator themed pack full of cannons and mortars. There's a Star Wars themed pack of cannons and mortars. There's even a Celebrity Chef pack that has...cannons and mortars.
Because of my hurry and my need to return to my loving wife within the two hours it would take her to figure out nothing fits, I went for the bone: the stuff they pretend they won't sell you unless you act like something illegal is going on.
I approached the fireworks dealer. "Sir - I would like - come closer."
"Yes?" The man asked.
"I hear your firework stand is the best." I cozied up to the register and began toying with a pack of Saturn Missiles seductively.
"Big Tits and Ass Fireworks is the best. My grandfather built Big Tits and Ass Fireworks with his bare hands! Tulalip Nation!" The man screamed and the other firework dealers screamed back.
"Yes, that's all well and good. It is a fine establishment. But tell me this...."
"Yesssss?' He asked, winking.
"Can I get..."
"Yessss?"
"A tennis ball full of....."
"Gun powder?!"
My head shot up and I looked at him cross and said "Good lord, no! Cocaine! Cocaine, my good man! I want to buy cocaine from you!"
Again I was tossed out of an outlet. This time it was the fireworks kind. I had flown too close to the sun. I figured I'd get some sparklers. Then I figured a mortar. Then I figured an M80. Then I just went all in and asked for cocaine. I was severely off my game.
THE CASINO
I got back in the car and began cursing the Tulalip Nation in the only language I knew: English.
Sure, I took some sign language and Spanish, but I didn't remember most of it and wasn't going to Google it.
Not now. Not with the casino a half a mile away.
I parked the car and took out a cigarette from a pack I kept in the trunk for just such an occasion: shitting your pants, getting kicked out of an outlet mall, trying to buy cocaine, and then getting kicked out of a firework stand.
I called it Old Smokey.
Tulalip Casino is a majestic building that greets you with fountains and lights and all the majesty of realizing you are about to lose money you don't have to a video game themed on the premise of milking money out of a cow.
As you enter, the smoke comes on you like hot fudge on a sundae if hot fudge was smoke and you were a sundae. The atmosphere reminds you of a wedding some uncle had before he went to jail for a crime that the family will not acknowledge in public. From room to room you feel that rush of being a racial minority for the first time in your life, only to become just another white guy leering at a cocktail waitress behind aviator glasses in the next room - complicating this is the fact that you're Korean.
There's an aroma of food under the nicotine and perfume, but you can't quite make out what it might be. It could be spare ribs or it could be Pad Thai, but what it won't be is good. There is no good food made by human beings that can be carried from poker table to poker table in a plastic sack. Sure, there's the nice restaurant where you sit down and eat your food at a table instead of in your car crying as you try to figure out how you're going to tell your wife that you lost the life savings and all you got out of it was a free bag of sliders and fries...but you don't want to sit down and eat food like a human. You want to gamble.
Like most casinos, the Tulalip has a club you can join to lose money within a kind of fraternal order of losers. Sure, you'll get free money and smokes and food, but those things just keep you anchored to that casino. No, the real pros skip the club and lose on their own terms.
Like me. It was time to lose money the only way I knew: video slots. Video slots are like the slot machines of old, only they have little video games within them where you get entertained as you pay for three computers and a college education for a Tulalip Nation member's family. There are bonuses, free spins, and even quests where you lose money by way of slaying dragons or orcs or zombies.
I slid a hundred in and began navigating a gnome around a fairytale castle hoping to hit the jackpot that would possibly pay off my car, but certainly wouldn't make me a rich man. As I slid hundred after hundred in the machine, the damn gnome continued to get lost in the flower city of Zambel. I shouted at the gnome "JESUS, WILL YOU PICK THE CORRECT DOOR - THIS IS COSTING ME MONEY!" But the gnome failed to pick the right door and I was out 800 dollars.
I went to the bar.
THE CASINO AND BEYOND
"At least I can get drunk now." I was left to my own shame in a bar in the casino, nursing a beer and trying to imagine how to rob the Wal Mart next door and actually make any money.
I had another half hour before I would have to meet my wife and explain how we couldn't have kids now.
"You seem down on your luck." The bartender looked at me from behind a mask of years of inbreeding. His eyes were fused and his cycloptic movements made me cringe as he pushed a matchbook across the table to me. "Meet this man at the city limits."
"You mean the Exit door?"
"Yes."
I couldn't possibly see how this man (T.C. said the matchbook) or any other man could help me out in the predicament the Native Americans had put me in. Oh, who was I kidding, it was my fault!
And the Native Americans. And my wife's. If she wouldn't have shit her pants on the way home - but I must not blame, I thought.
"Hear you need a job, kid." It was Tom Cruise.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"I own this place."
"Really?"
"Hell no. I had to take a piss on the way home from Canada. You lose some money?"
"It's true, Mr. Cruise! I am guilty of gambling! But the Native Americans made me do it. It was some ancient curse, some demon that -"
"Speaking of ancient curses - have you heard about Xenu?"
"No."
"Good. Now, I hear you need some money."
"YES! I DO! Did the cyclops tell you?"
"The...no, that's John Travolta."
"He's a bartender?"
"No. He's a drunk. Look, you want to make some money or not?"
"I don't have to...?" I made a gesture with the hotdog I always keep in my pocket for just such instances.
"Let me just show you."
THE NEXT DAY
"Free personality test!" I yelled at the Japanese tourist.
submitted by levilarrington to DestinationWa [link] [comments]

What's Happening in CT - 5/4-5/6

Friday, May 4th:
 
 
Saturday, May 5th:
 
 
Sunday, May 6:
 
submitted by SheCalledMePaul to Connecticut [link] [comments]

Euro Palace Casino 100 free spins no deposit bonus + $600 free chips

Euro Palace Casino 100 free spins no deposit bonus + $600 free chips

www.freespins1.com
Source: https://freespins1.com/euro-palace-casino/
Euro Palace Casino Review
Some online casino players pay no attention to what a casino looks like as long as the games are great. But if you are a player who insists on the best of both, look no further than Euro Palace!
Like the name says, the elegant palatial surroundings will please the most discriminating players. Instead of being jarring and distracting with clashing colors and oversized images, the understated, uncluttered site with an attractive dark blue background provides the perfect setting for letting the games take center stage. Think in terms of being pampered in a top of the line, full service European casino, but without the travel time and expensive airfare or need to get dressed up.
Of course, no casino should be judged on appearance alone, and Euro Palace online casino has a lot more going for it. For starters, Euro Palace is a member of the highly regarded Fortune Lounge group of casinos, which includes the separately reviewed Platinum Play, Royal Vegas, and 7 Sultans (and a few others), so you know this place is in good company. Euro Palace, like these other casinos, is owned by Digimedia, Ltd., licenced by the Lotteries and Gaming Authority of Malta, eCogra certified, and powered by state-of-the-art software from Microgaming.
Even though Euro Palace, established in 2010, is relatively new compared to the other casinos mentioned, there is no question that it, too, is a reputable business where your money is safe and you will be treated fairly. The eCogra seal of approval means that all of the games have met this organization’s stringent standards. The Microgaming label is also a reassuring sign. Microgaming is internationally renowned as one of the most trustworthy providers in the business. Furthermore, Microgaming continually updates its software in order to give its users the most technologically up-to-date products possible with consistently superior performance, graphics, and sound.
Another important feature of Microgaming casinos is the tremendous variety of games. In fact, every month Microgaming releases new games to add to its already vast collection. So if you were thinking that Euro Palace might be a small boutique casino with only a limited number of games, far from it. You will feel like a king or queen with the hundreds of options that are always available any hour of the day or night. And when you see the generous Welcome Bonus you can get when you sign up, you will really feel like royalty!
Downloading the user friendly software onto your computer is quick and easy, and within minutes you will have full access to all 500 games. Of, if you prefer you can choose the no download instant play flash version offering about 150 games plus the ability to play on any browser. Another option is to access select Euro Palace games anytime anywhere on your mobile device.
Unsurprisingly, much like Europe has become a favorite destination for travelers from all over the world, Euro Palace has become a popular online casino destination for sophisticated players from many countries. Unfortunately, no one from the U.S. can play, but if this site is available to you, check it out today. Euro Palace could become your favorite virtual casino to visit often, too!

Games

If you are like most casino gamblers, you probably have a few go to games that you play often, but you also like to break the monotony by introducing some variety. Euro Palace is the perfect online casino to enjoy both options. With more than 500 exciting games to choose from, which is not only an exceptionally large number for an online casino, but more than you will find even in many land-based casinos, it’s a safe bet that your favorite games will be there.
However, whenever you are in the mood to try something different, you can. Whether you are a beginner or a veteran, bet small, big or in between, and prefer slots or table games, or a little of everything, Euro Palace has the right games for your taste and bankroll.
If you love the slots, Euro Palace has so many that you may have a tough time deciding which to play first. You can choose from classic 3-reel slots, pub slots, and always exciting 5-reel video slots like Tomb Raider, The Dark Knight Rises, and Thunderstruck II. Or try your luck at one of Microgaming’s own fantastic progressive slots like Mega Moolah, Major Millions, and King Cashalot, where life changing jackpots are waiting to be won.
Keep in mind that slots count 100% towards meeting the playthrough requirements for the generous Welcome Bonus you earn when you sign up, and slot play also earns loyalty points a lot faster than most other games. Besides the hundreds of regular slot games, there are lots of opportunities to try to add to your winnings in slot tournaments.
If table games are more to your liking, you won’t be disappointed either. For example, instead of American roulette with a double zero wheel and 5.26 house edge, you can play the much more favorable to the player French roulette. Other options include Premier roulette, multi-wheel roulette, where you can have up to 8 wheels working for you at once, and the progressive game Roulette Royale.
If you play blackjack, you have an even greater choice. For example, you can play Atlantic City, European, Las Vegas Strip, or Las Vegas Downtown versions of the game. Or you can play classic or double exposure blackjack. You can also play multi-hand versions of these games. To maximize your chance of winning, just be sure to brush up on any rule or basic strategy changes beforehand if you decide to play a form of blackjack that is not familiar to you.
Last but certainly not least, you can take your online play to a whole new level at the live dealer blackjack, roulette, and baccarat tables. The experience of actually watching the dealer in action and even carrying on a conversation with the dealer and other players might almost make you forget that you are logged on to Euro Palace online casino. You will feel like you are playing in a real European casino. But in some ways, it is even better because of all the extra betting options you have that you will probably not be offered in a land-based casino at all.
First, you can play at more than one table simultaneously. Second, if you are playing blackjack, you can take advantage of a special “Bet Behind” feature. Even if your own luck hasn’t been that great, if you spot another player who is on a hot streak, you can place a bet behind that player’s. You are betting that the lucky player will win another consecutive hand. Finally, as if playing live dealer games online with a traditional dealer isn’t exciting enough, you can select a Playboy Bunny to be your dealer!
Clearly, with so many choices, your chance of ever being bored at Euro Palace is virtually non-existent. More good news is that there is no really bad choice you can make because all of the games have been independently certified for fairness by eCogra. Other reviewers have reported that the average payout for all games combined at this casino is about 98%. This is excellent if indeed these figures are still accurate. However, this reviewer was surprised not to have been able to access the monthly updated information on the website like with other Microgaming casinos.

Deposits and Withdrawals

Euro Palace is an international destination so, just as you would expect, the casino offers a wide choice of banking methods, and USD, EUR, and CAD are all accepted along with several other currencies. Most deposit methods can also be used for withdrawal, but check with the casino to make certain. If you use one of the preferred banking methods listed at the beginning of this review, you receive an extra 10% bonus on your first deposit (up to $100) on top of the regular Welcome Bonus.
Withdrawals take 24 hours to process. The amount of additional time needed to receive the funds varies with the method.
Regardless of which banking method you select, state-of-the-art digital encryption technology ensures that all of your personal information and financial transactions are kept completely private and secure.

Welcome Bonus

Virtually all credible online casinos offer new players signing up a Welcome Bonus, but therein the similarity ends. Amounts, terms, and conditions vary greatly, but the Euro Palace bonus is one of the better ones. Actually, players have a choice between two generous bonuses, a regular one for most players of up to $600 and a High Roller bonus of up to $2000 for those depositing and playing more money.
Keep in mind that only slots and parlor games count 100% towards meeting the wagering requirements. The contribution of other games is negligible, so in practice, these bonuses are best used for slots only.
Despite these restrictions, either bonus is a good deal because you only have to play through the bonus, not the bonus plus your deposit, as at many other casinos. Afterwards, your deposit, any winnings, and the bonus are all yours to keep. Small bettors accepting the regular bonus are, of course, free to deposit less than the maximum and take a smaller bonus requiring less play.
This reviewer found the descriptions of the bonuses and terms and conditions a little hard to follow due to the need to keep opening up different windows. It would be helpful to players to have the information better organized. If you have any questions about the bonus or any other casino matter, Customer Support is available 24/7 via live chat, phone, or email. The service is offered in 10 different languages.

Loyalty Programme

Don’t worry about the casino not recognizing and appreciating your play after the Welcome Bonus. Euro Palace rewards player loyalty by treating all regular players like royalty. Obviously, the more often you play and the more you bet, the more you are rewarded. However, you can still get many benefits even if you are not a high roller.
That is because all real money players are automatically enrolled in the Euro Palace 4-tiered Loyalty Rewards Program from day 1. The more you play, the more reward points you earn, which once you accumulate enough (5,000 or multiples thereof), you can redeem them for cash credits (with no further wagering required). Slots and parlor games earn points at the fastest rate. Also, higher tier players earn points faster. Every 5,000 points is exchangeable for 5 Euros. Unredeemed points expire after 60 days.
Everyone stars at the Blue level with 2,500 free points, but with the opportunity to move up to Gold, Platinum, and Diamond status based on play. The required points are 10,000 or more for Gold, 25,000 or more for Platinum, and 75,000 or more for Diamond. Points are recalculated monthly, and players who do not maintain the required point minimum over the next month drop to the previous level.
All players are eligible for weekly promotions such as slot tournaments, drawings, and deposit match bonuses. But higher level players get additional benefits. Along with earning points faster, they receive a monthly loyalty bonus and a birthday bonus. The higher the level, the bigger these bonuses are.
Higher tier players are also eligible for monthly promotions (tournaments, drawings, giveaways, cashbacks, etc.) offering prizes of much higher value than those in the weekly promotions. Players awarded VIP status( by invitation only) qualify for a personal host, special giveaways, and invitations to exclusive events.

Exciting Extras

One of the special privileges of Fortune Lounge casino membership is your open invitation to compete in a wide variety of daily and weekly tournaments, as well as the special tournaments of the International Slots and Blackjack Leagues, reserved exclusively for Fortune Lounge members.
In addition, every year eligible players get the opportunity to try to win a pair of tickets for a fabulous 7 day cruise. The 2018 getaway will be a Caribbean cruise on the Oasis of the Seas.
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YouTube Star City Casino Brawl - YouTube Casino Dealer – A day in the life - YouTube All the Food and Meals with Menus on Princess Star Cruise ... JoCo Cruise Crazy 2 Preview - Gambling Top 5 Casino Dealer Interview Questions and Answers - YouTube Carnival Cruise Line Casino Guide - YouTube

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YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. The first in a series of videos previewing some of the many amenities and activities available on JoCo Cruise Crazy 2, a 7-day Caribbean cruise happening February 19-26, 2012. See http ... Ever wondered what it’s like to be a casino dealer? Grosvenor Casinos dealer Sylvia talks us through all aspects of her job from learning the games, being pa... In this video we will look at the most common questions asked in interviews for casino dealer jobs. I will coach you on how to prepare for the questions that... Carnival Cruise Line Casino Guide, a new cruisers guide to the Carnival Cruise Line Casino. We walk through the major concepts for gambling on a Carnival Cru... Joseph Kerr lives in Florida and takes 7 or 8 cruises a year. We talk to Joseph about advantage plays on cruise ships. Gambling With an Edge is a weekly radio show dedicated to making you a better ... Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. Auf YouTube findest du die angesagtesten Videos und Tracks. Außerdem kannst du eigene Inhalte hochladen und mit Freunden oder gleich der ganzen Welt teilen.

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